I know.. what is wrong with me? I love my blog, I do!!!! I usually find so many interesting things to write about from photographs and movies and just things that bother me. The journey of my life as a "Struggling Artist" and how sometimes I really feel like I'm not good enough to be a professional though I've got potential... how much I love class... how much I miss class... how much I want to go to grad school... but lately.. there is nothing..
The last few days I have been sick, so I'm sure that has been a large part of my mental block.. but I think right now, I feel stuck.
I had this amazing opportunity to work with the WRUSH Crew a few months ago, due to my schedule this summer I was unable to rehearse with them and now I feel like I may have lost my chance. I want to work with Marcos, he is so talented.
Now I have a guest spot with Luminarium. They are a new small company.. New and Small and I can't get a permanent fix with them... I am a guest performer. It will be great on a resume and I am really excited to perform in October.. but my goodness I want to be in a working company.. HELP!!!!!
[stress stress stress stress]
Tomorrow I have a meeting with Dance Works to go over the fall class schedule. I am ill prepared. It's been so long since I taught a class... I feel like I don't have the right music, that I am not going to be good... failing as a teacher is a big deal when you are working to create the artists of tomorrow!!!! I'm so nervous.. I am SO NERVOUS!!!!
I need binders, and separators, and notebook paper,(I thought I was done with buying school supplies?) and blank cds, and a new ipod because I cannot select music because of my dumb button and so can't use it for class and it doesn't hold all my music (come on its only 2,314 songs!!!) and I am going to have more music to download to use for classes and recitals and other shows and OH I DO NOT HAVE THE MONEY FOR ANY OF IT!!!! (thank you to exstream solutions for not giving me a paycheck yet... no big deal I don't only have $20 in my bank account)
okay okay maybe we should get into some positives??
ALEX GOT A JOB AT TEMPO!!! It's this little bistro on Moody Street in Waltham and I think you all should go, especially on a Thursday, Friday, or Saturday because he will more than most likely be working!
He had a test run yesterday to see if he would get the job and he was nervous (he smoked a whole pack of cigarettes before 3:30.. yuck!) but he did great. I knew he would... he just never believes me... silly boyfriend!
The only downer is that now he is not going to have much free time anymore. I work weekdays until about five now a days and he'll be going to school Monday through Thursdays so we pretty much had the weekends to spend together.. now we will have small portions of the weekends to spend together.
I shouldn't complain about it, some relationships have to go very long periods of time in between seeing each other. I am blessed to only have to go 5 days in between sightings but he makes me feel so at ease and comfortable that it is one of the biggest gifts ever to just see him after a long 5 days. Good thing I like(love!!) his roommates.. the three of us will be spending more time together on weekends now!
anything else new in my life? No, I don't think so.. my car still needs new tires I cannot afford, I still drink coffee like its crack, and I'm still searching for my dream dancing job.
Speaking of.. September 10Th is the auditions for the Radio City Rockette Christmas Spectacular. Why don't I live in New York again??? All the auditions I want to go to are there... but man I love Boston way too much. I think I would have separation anxiety.
[Plymouth studios please hurry up so I do not have to move away from my beautiful home!]