why my nieces are awesome

"See my finger? See my thumb? See my fist? Better run!!!" -Kiara, age 4

Snowed in.

okay so maybe not 8 feet of snow, snowed in... but my mother and I were actually stuck here. The storm hit the south shore pretty hard and while all the boys in my family hopped in the plow to make some good money (no really, they were out for 24 hours straight... thats a lot of money! haha) my mother and I were stuck in the house... and while I should have read and drawn and done other artistic or educated things that I enjoy doing, I rotted on my bed watching movies and playing games. That is, until the power went out for 11 hours.

So, at one point I gave up on my ipod and not using my mind for anything and I finally wrote.
I haven't fully picked a title yet, but I think I am going to call it Warm Air

The air was warm
your skin was soft
pale, like the shade of your eyes
as you slept next to me
me, sun kissed
dreaming of better days
and counting all the ways
I tried not to fall for you
yes I’m dreaming of better days
Days when the air was warm.

See Black Swan

Okay, so I don't really like dance movies most of the time, and I usually don't go around promoting them "OMG SEE STEP UP 3D ITS LIKE THIIIRRDDD DIMENSION I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT DIMENSION WE LIVE IN OR WHAT A PAS DE BOURREE THIS IS AWESSOOMMEE DANCE YA!" The reason for this is because they try to make movies about the dance but they just can't do it the same way that Hollywood musicals of the past could or they try to make it awesome with hot muscly men and hip hop music or doing pointe to Michael Jackson in order to get into the New York City Ballet (sorry center stage)

Thank Hollywood for Darren Aronofsky.

Why do I love him so much? It started with a past boyfriend showing me The Machinist. Dark and twisted, gross but you can't stop watching as someones life falls apart. This is how this movie is.
As a dancer, yes I appreciate this movie for the fact that it is based on one of the most popular classical ballet pieces, ever. But that's not what this movie really is about.
What is it about then? I mean perhaps you want to figure it out or you have your own opinion... but the darkness that comes from the inside of a person, even the sweetest person.
It does however actually relate to most dancers, even if it is in a very over exaggerated way, I know I have felt this way.

Every dancer sees that one person and compares themselves to them. They want to be them in one shape or form... I wish my foot pointed like hers, god I wish my extension was like that.. I def have that leotard and I most def don't look like that in it... she can do a triple pirouette? yea.. well... I'll make a fool of myself trying to do one then because I want to be that good too. Yea. All been there.
There is also something I felt from the main character, Nina. As a dancer I like to get lost in the character I portray... Thankfully I have never had to go so far as she did... but its a commitment that dancers have to make. You can't just walk on a stage and say "today I am going to dance the part of Juliet" and not believe that you are actually her.. that you actually love that boy across the stage from you.

I feel like I am not expressing myself the way I want to about it... like I can't say it correctly. But if you are a dancer, go and see this movie and you will understand. You will sit there and think to yourself "This is how it really is... sometimes.. this is really how I feel"

Gah.. so good.

Kinetic Synergy Dance Company

Had our first group photo shoot this weekend with my dance company. It could have been better.. some camera difficulty, A member going home early from being sick, and well, it was fourty degrees and we were outside in beautiful Cambridge Mass, in dance clothes. Lovely!
Heres a few shots that I stole and edited<3

I promise I'll update more soon, when I think of something to rant about, or I actually have an exciting life to mention! we'll see what comes first!
Hope everyone is having a great holiday season! and good luck on those college finals!

you ever have the downs?

Like everything is starting to go your way
things are starting to make sense
your life is starting to get back together
and yet... something inside of you is still unhappy?
an empty you're not sure how to fill?

Well that sums up my last week.

{via}

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnddddddd

I got the job
I start training tomorrow!
Hey, I'm no ballerina, so I can't dance for the Boston Ballet, but at least I can say that I am a part of what makes the company breathe and survive =)

So now I'm teaching dance, performing with a contemporary company, and working in the office of the biggest dance company and dance school in Massachusetts. My degree is paying off!

{via}

Exploding Dog, Boston Ballet, and other feelings

So I stumbled upon this today through tumblr, he has a page that he takes a lot of his art from his website, which is freakin adorable. They are based around the artist himself, sam brown.. the man stick frigure is also sam.. the coffee loving, dargon slaying, best friend of a robot.
The best thing about the cartoons is he is actually realistic about it. They are little comics but you can tell what kind of day he is having by the cartoon he posts. Hungover, heartbroken, going out, in love, in need of coffee.. more coffee, and more coffee, he draws these awesome cartoons about it. The best part is that they are relatable. You look at one and say "I remember feeling like that"
so I've been saving a whole bunch of them.. so look out in my blogs from now on because a lot of them may include pictures from the clever little Sam Brown from Connecticut (of course CT.. because the world knows my follies with men of that state.)
check out his website and his blog!


In other news, I  had an interview with Boston Ballet for their fundraising committee. I will actually know by tomorrow, which is pretty cool. keeping our fingers crossed!

I've been in a slump with these crazy dreams I've been having and they have brought back some things I tried to get over.
Truth is I can't
and I miss you terribly.
I really wish it wasn't like this and that we were falling in love and not drifting apart back to square one.
at least I have my rocket powered surf board right??

Penelope

I am not the kind of person who likes to watch lots of movies more than once. Most movies (aside from my childhood favorites) I see once and I am satisfied, and then maybe I will see them again a year or two again.
I do have a logic behind this. As I see it, there are too many movies in the world that I have not seen (including ones that everyone in their mother has seen) (I haven't even seen the new harry potter yet please don't judge me)
so why would I sit around watch these other movies on repeat?
some movies I can see all the time:
Big Lebowski
Now and Then
League of Their Own
Ever After
All Disney/ Disney Pixar Movies
Holiday Movies
Classics (Like littlest princess and secret garden
and
Penelope.

sadly, not a lot of people have seen Penelope.. but I think everyone needs to. Why? Because the basis behind it is important. It has a good message. The story is about a girl with a family curse. The first daughter to be born with the face of a pig until one of her own learns  to love her. The message is one that I need to take into consideration a lot more than I do. You need to love yourself the way you are, That is the only way you are actually going to be free to be who you are suppose to be.
love it.
watch it
especially because it is currently on encore on demand!!

Sometimes your home is not a house..

Have you ever had a class where you did not have assigned seating, but you still sat in the same seat every single class??? And if someone decided to change it up It was the end of the world weird and uncomfortable?
I have been battling with this stigma of trying to find my home most of the summer and it comes up in my thoughts every once in a while to this day.. Since I went to college my parents' house lost the flair of "home". To me it became my parents' home, and the fact that I only spent about a fourth of the year there, it was just a place I stayed in between. After graduating Dean started to lose its feeling of home. Lots of things were changing, people who were close to me were leaving, I had gone from one of the most well known faces on campus to just another stranger walking through the hallways when I visit.
Today I was reminded where my home is.
Four rows back
first on the left
Laura hanging out on the other side

My Ballet Barre.

Laura and I were barre partners my junior and senior year so when I talked about visiting to take some classes and she told me that she didn't have a barre partner I was excited.
I walked in put on my slippers and legwarmers and there it was... Laura setting up the barre... four rows back, first one on the left.
As Jill took attendance she looked over at me after finding Laura and said "You found your way right back to where you belong"
and she was right.

maybe... maybe not that specific. Maybe I don't have to be in the MPR at the barre four rows back and first to the left... but in a studio that's warmly lit, full of ballet barres and people who love to dance, sweating gallons at a time and walking out feeling sore. Knowing I worked myself and I wanted more. knowing I wanted to give Everything.

Jill used to teach us in pedagogy that fifth position was home. I always just thought she meant it was the easiest place to have stability and the proper carriage of the body...

Something to Think About

Call me a lame-o, but I still watch One Tree Hill… every week.. it has been a part of my life since I was fourteen I wasn’t going to give it up now… I’m a person of commitment.

anyways.. So I have to watch it via hulu these days, which means I have to watch it the sunday after it airs every week. I watched it today and the character Julian had a quote that I really fell in love with, so I wanted to share it.

 

“Happiness is not a destination. It is a mood, it is not permanent. It comes and goes and if people thought that way then maybe people would find happiness more often”

This week in my dance world

I went through tons of ups and downs. My usual dance studio had dance on Thursday even though school was cancelled. Well I guess the memo wasn’t so clearly addressed.. because we had seven students between the three classes. What was me and Miss Alex suppose to do with that? so we had 2 1/2 hours of a free day. yup that’s right. Obstacle courses, freeze dance, whatever else we could think of. Gah! We managed to survive the night, and I was able to get home and concentrate on Saturday’s classes. I was filling in for my friend Ashlee for a few classes in Rhode Island. East Greenwich is BEAUTIFUL! I absolutely loved it! I had a break in between my classes so I even got the chance to walk around the town for a while, and found a Starbucks (which was great because I needed to change my fantasy football roster while Alex was able to talk to me about it!)  It was nice because I really needed a change. I taught two jazz classes at Festival Ballet. I would love to say that I had these amazing ballerinas to work with.. but both the classes were beginner level. That’s fine.. honestly.. because we still had fun. The seven year old class was way too hyper.. and there was only two of them! The high school level was pretty cool. Some of them had small amounts of dance experience, some of them started in September, and a few of them took their first class that day! I

I like the ambition that comes with a new dancer, especially at an older age. Its not like a 15 year old that is dancing because they had been dancing since they were 4, it’s a 15 year old that made a decision that they want to learn. They struggle but they fight through it because they want to learn. I love that. I did a really funky combination with them to this song.. I feel like they liked it, I hope so! I actually really liked the dance.. I wish I had a purpose to expand it and develop more of an outline for it past 8 counts of 8

Today was the second rehearsal for Kinetic Synergy dance company. We started our piece for the shared choreographers show in Cambridge. We are doing this song and the piece incorporates lots and lots of red balloons… its going to be really cool! We are still trying to figure out exactly our characters for it. it has the feeling of a doll, young and sweet and innocent, we’ll see with the progression of the piece if our character changes!

 

Next week hopefully starts a start for the new, and a turn for the better! I have a job interview.. I’ll hopefully have my life in order again… and I’ll finally feel well enough to go to the gym after being really sick and now trying to fight off the aggravation of leftover cold symptoms (NOSE STOP RUNNING!)

Hope everyone has had a good week! HAPPY SUNDAY FOOTBALL!

Because a Woman Should Love Football

I’ve always been a huge sports fan. Now most people will read this and think “ya ya what girl doesn’t like to look cute in her ‘favorite’ baseball teams hat and say she’s a fan”

I don’t think you understand.

I was raised in a neighborhood of boys. The only other girls at the time of my youth were 5 or more years younger than I was, so I was going to be playing flag football, I was just like ‘Julie The Cat’ between the street hockey goal posts, and I reviled in awe at Michael Jordan (while sporting my phoenix suns Charles Barkley jacket. That’s right; I rocked that in sixth grade)

These days I am quite the same. I may not go out with all the boys in my neighborhood and start a street game of anything anymore… as my group of friends are all adults. I still get my hands on a pickup game of football here and there with some High school friends, but my passion still lies as a sports fan.

To my days of Mo Vaun and Jordan, to my appreciation for Garciapara for coming back to retire a Red Sox and the fact that I almost cried in excitement for Paul Pierces free throw that landed him into the 20,000 point club last night. I have a fantasy football team (that is currently in 2^nd place thank you very much!) and I have every Sunday off which is perfect, because I start watching football at 1 and I do not end until the 8:05 game is over. Let’s not forget NFL redzone either that I keep on my “last” button so I can see what’s going on with the games that I do not get on my local cable.

The reason I am bringing this all up is that it has occurred to me that I am not normal.

I have a few other female friends who enjoy going to the bar having a drink and watching a game with me, but not many.

I do not think I have met many females who could put up a fight with me about a sport and throw out the statistics as I could. Yes people in my free time I read about players. I watch ESPN every day at the gym (though I will admit, sometimes I am just watching the boys of PTI and not listening to a thing they say because I’d rather be listening to Brand New while I run… but sometimes I do listen haha) I talk basketball with my brother, Football with my stepfather, and baseball with whoever will discuss baseball with me! (Usually my good friend Nicole!)

I’ve gotten mixed opinions about this from the male population as well. My guy friends think it’s cool. Of course they do, I am one of the guys isn’t sports knowledge a guideline for that? Most of the guys I have dated have thought it was “hot” though sometimes I think I may have been guilty of irritating them because sports is usually the excuse for the male population to drop their girls for a couple hours and just hang out with the boys. And some guys. Well, I get the feeling that sometimes I hurt the male ego when a friend mentions something about a player or a game and another one of their friends try to be macho and I have to shut them down because they are, in fact, wrong. Sorry.

This all seems to be a rant about absolutely nothing. I just felt like I needed to get it out there. Is it really that strange for a girl to love sports that much? Is it wrong that I can be a huge Patriots fan and instead of jumping on the bandwagon and hating the Jets I can appreciate them as a fan because I think Revis is a great player?

Is this abnormal? Is this going to cause me to always be a bridesmaid and never a bride? And why do guys always think I am wrong when I state a fact about a player or team? Does two X chromosomes prohibit my mind from having sports knowledge?

Thankfully I found this article.

We are not alone in the world! 

So Cheers to us! Here's to enjoying the VS Pink NFL gear because finally theres clothes to rep our teams that fit us, not because "our boyfriends think I look super cute in his favorite team's under-rooz"  Here's to the girls who never miss a Sunday, even when their team has a bye week. Here's to the girls who would rather get tickets to the basketball game instead of tickets to the newest chick flick. Here's to the girls who wear their teams baseball cap whether or not they are having a bad hair day. And here's to the girls who have a favorite college sports team, even if it's not the college you went to.

Here's to us... because we are pretty kick ass!

{via}

Who am I anyways???

I have realized that I haven't done any type of an "About Me". Well, theres a reason for that. I'm horrible at writing them! I never know what to write. What about me do you want to know anyway? hm
So I came up with a plan. Questions. Questions are great!!

So leave a comment here, or if you are one of my readers outside of the blogger world you can message me through facebook or twitter.. you know where to find me!
Compile some questions to answer so I can create an about me page!

                                                      Feel free to make me think!!!


Thanks everyone! Happy Hump Day!

Love And Theft - You To Miss (Lyrics)

My Friend Mike (or Mangelo as we like to call him) Posted this song on my facebook. Normally I'm not too crazy into country, I like some songs, and I think Brad Paisley is one of the most beautiful people to touch earth, so I listen to him hahaha. Anyway, Mike gave me this song and while I have been bummed out about everything lately... This is exactly how to feel.

Thanks Mike

Put Everything In Its Right Place.

The last few weeks have had a lot of ups and downs. Well, lets rephrase that. How about down down down then up and then down again.
One thing that has gotten to me: DJ Henry.
People from around the greater Brockton area know him from school in Easton, or a few of my friends who were attending Pace with him in NY. Unfortunately, it hits a little closer to home with my family. My mother is really close friends with DJ's grandmother, Peggy.
I've never had anything against police. Never. I have 4 family members myself that are Boston policemen... but there is something sketchy about the whole thing.
The police have changed the story, evidence has been tampered with, something is being hidden. All of us just want the truth. For the sake of Peggy, and Angela, and so that my mom and Gail will stop sitting with the news on waiting to hear what they have to say next.

The sweet boy who cared way more about football than drinking, the boy who was the designated driver that night so his friends could be safe, the kid who is now gone and because he is not here to tell the truth, the police can lie, say it was his fault, say he was drunk, say he tried to harm them. I'm sick of it.
I have only seen DJ a few times at a few family gatherings, but I do know he was a shy, sweet kid, and he didn't deserve this... and neither does my family. It's just taking a lot out of everyone who just wants to know the truth. We want everything to be put in its right place.

Feeling a lot better

The weekend helped me a lot. Remember Wednesday's post? (how could you forget... it's right under this one)
I needed to find some time to do something for myself. Wednesday was just a bad day. I cried a couple times.. talked to Alex, which did make me feel better, and he made me laugh, until we hung up and I started to cry again because hanging up with him made me realize how much I did actually miss him, especially how much he makes me laugh when I hate the world.
Then I ran. I did that a lot this week. Weds after dinner, Thursday before dance class and Friday before cheer I just went to the gym put This Album in my ear buds and ran until I felt okay, or until it was time for me to leave for work..
I wanted to go on Saturday too, but there was no way.. and I was glad I didn't either. I don't think I would have been able to walk on Sunday if I did!
Saturday I went with my Older Sister and her three friends to Salem for a scavenger hunt. They have done one before and they told me I had to come because it would be really fun. They have them in Boston all the time.. they are about $20.00 and you know what the winner gets? A FREE SCAVENGER HUNT! hahaha.
This one was really cool. I try not to believe too much in ghosts and monsters and everything but somewhere in the back of my ever puzzled mind I want to. This hunt was pretty cool. We had history and trivia and got to go to some haunted places. We didn't get to go inside any of them, but just being around some of them was good enough. There were two places, in front of one house and in one garden. The garden belonged to the Ropes Mansion, a Salem museum (which.. FUN FACT was Filmed as Alison's house in Hocus Pocus.. best.Halloween.movie.EVER!)Its also considered to be one of the most haunted houses in Salem, which is strange because that house wasn't the thing that gave me the bad feelings.. however the garden did. The garden was in front of another old brick mansion that was pushed back off of the street. They felt cold. Really really cold. I don't even know how to explain it. The garden didn't feel too cold until we got more towards the back, (here is a journal with some pics of the garden. The big brick mansion is the place that gave me the heeby jeebiez!)  and the sun dial was really cool. It sat in the middle of the garden. Our question to be answered was "What stays when everything else dies?" When we located the dial it had the quote that says
"Hours fly, flowers bloom and die, old days old ways pass by, love stays." Romantic right? But somehow the whole ora of it all made the quote a little creepy.
Once we passed the sundial to the back exit of the garden it got even colder. They say the Ropes mansion is very haunted.. okay well who lived in this brick house behind it? perhaps a witch?? it was freezing there until we finally got passed it.. then my face filled with blood and I felt awkwardly warm again. I didn't like it.

We ended up tying for first in the hunt.. AWESOME! It came down to the tie breaker... "how many women were killed during the Salem witch trials?" okay what were we thinking.. 1600s how many people do you think even live in Salem.. for some reason we said a number over 100 (really.. maybe there were 100 people living in Salem at the time..  I don't know why I didn't stop us from having it be the final answer). You know how many did?
20
No seriously. That's it. 20 women were accused and hanged for being witches between 1692 and 1693. Why did we think there was so many more?? There were men as well, perhaps there were a lot of them? Who knows.

Strange how it works, but getting the bejeebers scared out of me actually helped me feel better from the stress. I needed a day of simple fun... No out partying and doing this and drinking that and the foolish things 22 year olds do.. I got to be outside for hours, enjoy history, use my brain, oh and got super yummy cream of broccoli soup and hot apple cider afterwards! Hooray!
Thanks Lynn for bringing me! =)

I'm going to vent.

I hate my desk job. I HATE IT!
I have to get it off my chest.
When I was first hired here I was told I was going to be doing all this stuff that I am not doing. I was told I would be able to go to live streaming in Waltham, Cambridge, and Boston. I would be doing tons of filing and scheduling. Do you know what I do? I sit at my desk and blankly stare at facebook, read blogs, and play spider solitaire.. while I get talked to because the kitchen isn't clean and we are out of creamer. REALLY? I DON'T EVEN GO IN THE KITCHEN!!!
You know why the kitchen isn't clean Aby? because I am the office manager.. not you're maid! You drink coffee everyday and just throw your mug in the sink and then get mad when there are six unwashed mugs in there. How hard is it to rinse it off and stick it back in the cabinet? Asshole.
He gave me two folders to label on Monday, and handed them back to me on Tuesday and told me he didn't like the position where the letters were... he couldn't read them clearly.
Are we serious right now? You can't read size 24 font typed out because its a little lower on the label then you like? And then OH AND THEN... he said to me "I don't pressure you with a lot of work... the least you could do is not do something half-assed. I don't want to redo them myself but if you are going to do work like this then just tell me." WHAT? WHAAAAAAAAAAAT? IM GOING TO HAVE THE LABEL SPACED TO LOW FOR YOU AND NOW I AM HALF ASSED? FUCK YOU.

I'm sorry for all the swearing on my blog.  I don't like to do that here but I am mad. I am very very mad... and two seconds away from walking out of this door and not coming back.
Anybody know of any place that's hiring???? UGH

I have two rules in tap class...

1. don't move your feet until I am done teaching something new
2.don't run in your tap shoes, you will slip.

If only 8 year olds listened, right?
I have one student in my class in particular who has always listened to the rules. Her name is Siobhan, but all of the girls call her Shabanny. She has a handicap on her left side, but she loooooooves to dance, and she really loves tap class.. she's actually really one of my good productive girls in the class as well. Until today. Today for some reason Shabanny decided to run after I gave them a quick water break. She slipped and fell right on her weak side and began to cry. I've never been so scared in my life. The last half hour of class I am the only teacher left in the studio, and I do not 100% know what shabanny's disability even is, only that her left leg is not as functional as her right. I picked her up immediately and held her and told her not to worry, and she cried to me that she didn't want to dance anymore (which I am hoping that she only meant for the rest of the class, and not the rest of the year... I really love having her in my class). I carried her to one of our mats and sat there and held her. The rest of my 8 year olds then surprised me. First they all came over to make sure Shabanny was okay.. then they spread around the dance floor and went back to practicing the cramp rolls I was teaching them. Gracie and Nicole helped some of the other girls that weren't getting them right away, and once they got them they began asking each other questions and all helping each other practice their maxie fords and buffalos, coming over to where I was sitting and showing me each move whenever they wanted to double check that they were doing it right.
I began to well up. I smiled and my eyes got watery.
I always tell everyone that I am a "tough guy" I love sports, I am rough, I dabble in a lot of things that guys do, like play video games and actively work my fantasy football roster... but my gosh there are days when I have this soft spot for these little girls. I was so proud of them today. They made me so happy. I've been beating myself up lately saying I am a bad teacher. I feel like one.. unorganized, unplanned, seemingly clueless as to where to go next in class. Then simple things like this happen. Not only do they understand the vocabulary.. they know it enough to teach it to each other at the age of 8. I feel a little more accomplished, a little more important to this studio, and a lot less stressed  about one of my many jobs.
Now I just have to find recital music! *sigh*

Ingrid at the House Of Blues!

Tuesday night Ingrid Michaelson played at the House Of Blues in Boston and I got the opportunity to go.
I can't even begin to tell you how amazing the show was, even though there was a half hour wait between the opening act and her coming on stage due to some sound issues which she did appologize for (so sweet right?)
I've loved her music for so long now but after seeing her live I love her even more. I never thought that she would be as funny, sarcastic, and kinda rock chick as she is. She even asked the fans a personal question (well I mean not that personal) Leanne Rhymes had tweeted her and she had no idea what to say back to her.. she went on with her struggles about it for a solid two minutes. I'm pretty sure she had me laughing in between every song! Not to mention the two last songs she played. Her final song of the night was an "ode to Britney" Let me tell you.. Toxic by BS sounds pretty good on Ukulele.  after that she "Hid" (she had told all of us that she wasn't going to keep us around waiting, we knew there was an encore why bother leaving the stage for five minutes for nothing!) and came back and did a punk rock version of The Way I Am. It was hilarious, but also really good!

Guggenheim Grotto

The show opener, Guggenheim Grotto. They were GOOD and cute and Irish too! check them out =)

Heres two videos that technically would be one. Sorry for the quality and the fact that they are short... I don't know why I didn't think to bring my camera, I forgot smaller venues let you have them, so these are from my phone which only allows 32 seconds of recording at a time! haha

Thats all for now. If you get the chance check out Ingrid's page, Ingrid's blog.. and catch her on tour!! =)

Just Call Me Sue...

    Sylvester that is…. Okay.. So maybe I’m not that crazy, and I’m not out to get the glee club.. I happen to love them.. But I am a cheer coach.

    I told myself months ago I would do a post about being a coach, because this is after all a blog about my transition from being a college grad to being an actual adult, because I still feel like I’m playing dress up with mommy’s scarves and pretending I’m in the real world.

Somewhere in the back of my mind during my Jr and Sr year of college I had a feeling I would be a coach. I love sports and I love being a leader/mentor.. I  just never thought it would be of this kind. I grew up an athlete. I played baseball/softball and soccer for most of my young life, played volleyball and became 100% devoted to it, playing it for 8 years, 6 of which I played year round as the only sport that I would play. I thought that Jr. High or High school volleyball was what I would be coaching. Most definantly I was going to be teaching plays, 6/2 or 5/1 rotations, red and black defenses.. How to make 6 girls 1 unit on 900sq feet. All about it… yet somehow I ended up here, at Wellesley High school with 16 girls, big red bows, and pompoms. Wait? What? Britteny?? The biggest tomboy with a cheer squad?

Stephanie and I, the duo of Left and Right side attackers.

   Yea.. I was a cheerleader once… in 7^th grade.. For two weeks… and I quit to join the soccer team… oops?

   Okay so you guys are probably now wondering how this all happened. My good friend Alexa is the actual coach of the squad. We went out to dinner one night and she and I discussed our busy schedules. She is signed to dance  with a local artist and is suppose to be doing performances and possibly do a small tour with him, which could leave her squad without a coach  for games which meant they would not be allowed to stunt, go to competitions, or do a great pep rally performance. That’s when she came up with a great idea. “Britteny you can be my assistant… and you’ll work them out and stretch them and I’ll teach them cheer, then when I’m not there you can be and they can stunt” Great Idea.. Being paid to run and stretch with girls.. Awesome!!

  It all started at cheer camp in august. I had a lot to learn. I came in and met only about half the squad (yes, only 9 girls at camp… that’s not a team oh no!! good thing we got a larger number of interest as we started the season!) I loved them right off the bat, but oh man I was so confused. I had no idea what I was doing. I was going to coaching seminars to learn how to tumble and stunt and fundraise and an hour later being thrown right into the fire to be working with my team on stunting and half time routines. I had so much to learn and I didn’t have a lot of time to learn it. I thought for sure I was going to drown and fail.

  Well things have changed a bit since then. I’ve grown into actually enjoying cheer… some things are still a little rocky at times. I don’t understand why they can’t just do this or do that.. Oh that’s right, we are cheerleaders and I am a dancer.. Things are not the same! This is not ballet class Britteny! I am starting to see the difference and be able to differentiate and work with both on the same level.  I am now creating stunt routines and running practices on my own. I am setting a goal for myself to research cheers and come up with some on my own before the thanksgiving game! Plus I’ve become really attached to these girls. I think I’m just an overly affectionate and loving person really.. But they really are important to me now. I am constantly thinking about if they are doing well in school, hoping that they are all getting along, and hoping that no one makes any stupid mistakes that are going to cause me to punish them. Yes there are days they aggravate me (today being one of them, I yelled at them during a game today because they really weren’t trying hard enough. I personally hate the word can’t.. Especially when its sandwiched by an I and do it. I got some of those today and had to walk away and spend some time away from them.) But by Tuesday I miss them and I’m ready to jump back in with them and do work. I think I’m learning that it doesn’t really matter what sport I am coaching, I just really love to work with that age group.

Okay.. I really talk a lot, what a long post on something that only consumes my life every Tuesday, Friday, and Saturday hahaha. I’ll leave you with some pictures and vid of my girls in action!

 

 

my how things cha.... oh.. wait...

I walked into my bathroom today to see two things out of the ordinary. For one.. there is a hole in the wall. A big gaping hole over the sink. Apparently something happened to the medicine cabinet while I was in Connecticut for the weekend. The next was a picture frame on the shelf above the toilet. It has got to have one of the BEST pictures ever taken of my brother and I. We don't have many pictures together.. at all. We had a very big love hate relationship growing up and both of us living back at home again we most def still have the same relationship.
Anyway... this picture reminded me of another picture. I couldn't help but laugh. Sometimes things don't really change and I actually really like that.

Bobby and Britteny, 1989

Bobby and Britteny, 2008

UCONN UCONN UCONN!!

Hi Lovely readers!

I'll be in the CT area this weekend. Going to spend some time with some close friends (okay.. lets just call them family, because that's really what they are to me!) and seeing some GOOD FOOTBALL!!

I went to a small private college. My graduating class was just over 30 students so I didn't get that much of the college experience as most would. Don't get me wrong... I had an AMAZING four years at Dean.. but being the networker/socialist/bubbly person I am... I big campus would have been a great experience for me. I think that's the other reason I want to go to grad school. I'd like to try it from a different perspective... lost at a big school with tons of people. It wouldn't be the first time, my high school had six buildings and over four thousand students.

ANYWAY! This post was not suppose to be a rant. It was just to inform you lovely kiddies that Monday or Tuesday there might be a post of my wonderful adventures, and a fun Saturday full of football!!! As long as this weather doesn't swallow us up!!

xoxo 

RIP Jasper<3

If music be the food of love...

... I wish to order some take out...

I wrote today. I drove to Dean, met up with the Fro-ster and we went to a music room and just wrote. We don't have music yet, but we've got lyrics (music and lyrics, ever see that movie? way adorable) to TWO songs! here they are:

I'd Tell You

If I had the chance to tell you everything
I would.
I'd tell you I'm not her
Things wouldn't have been the same
and that's what kills me

He has the sweetest eyes
and sings the saddest songs.

Keep chasing your dreams
sweet boy
Keep chasing the light
we once ran for together.
At the end of the road you'll think
you're alone
But baby, I know better.

If I had the chance to tell you everything,
I would
I'd tell you you're crazy
For thinking your dreams would break us.
When following my dreams is what saved me.

He has the sweetest eyes
and sings the saddest songs.

Keep chasing your dreams
sweet boy
Keep chasing the light
we once ran for together.
At the end of the road you'll think
you're alone
But baby, I know better.

Do you really know what it's like
or do you live a lie?
intoxicated on the floor
screaming for more
and trying not to talk to you.
Do you know what its like
to be heartbroken by someone?
Someone like you?

Keep chasing your dreams
sweet boy
Keep chasing the light
we once ran for together.
At the end of the road you'll think
you're alone
But baby, I know better.


I'd tell you everything
I'd tell you everything
I'd tell you
He's got the sweetest eyes
and sings the saddest songs.

Share My Grave

Combing back from the tomb
we once shared
you forgot to put me back
back in my grave.

A part of you is dead
now a part of me is dead too
Leave me kicking and screaming
you're running out scared.

Fill my body up with bones
Either way
You have half my soul
You have half my soul.

Crawling back my limbs fall apart
you know what you took from me
baby, give me back my heart.

I've got your smile
I've got your arms to hold me
Lets make a trade
Lets go back to the start.

Fill my body up with bones
Either way
You have half my soul
 You have half my soul.

Remember we once lived
Rosy cheeked blood running through our flesh
I'd die a thousand ways to see that sunrise with you.
Just a dead lit moon and me wanting to be your best.


Fill my body up with bones
Either way
you have half my soul
Fill my body up with bones
Either way
You have half my soul

Either way you have half my soul
Let me give you the rest.

Fracture

We are only TWO WEEKS AWAY from my first dance show!! =)
October 8th and 9th (fri,sat) at the dance complex in Cambridge MA.
8pm- there are still tickets left.. come see me on my journey to fame! =p

Go to this link and check us out!
http://www.luminariumdance.org/


to buy tickets call 617.477.4494 or email Fracture.Dance@gmail.com
seniors and students are $10, regular admission is $15

Hope to see you there =)

New Things

I took new photographs of Stephanie two nights ago. I LOVE taking photographs... I know I keep saying how badly I want to go back to school, more and more I am leaning towards an MFA in dance or pedagogy... but theres that little piece inside of me that wants to go to photography school. In a perfect world (which I know is so far from true) there would be a school that would let me do both.



I currently have a new song that I cannot get out of my head. Well, its not "New" but being stuck in my head is new. Its "Just Breathe" by Pearl Jam





I'm so in love with it. Thank you Pearl Jam.. you have probably been one of the most clutch bands in my 22 years of existence. No matter what I am going through or how happy or sad I am, you always have a song that speaks to me.


I've been writing a lot too, which is new. I have something inside me that is keeping me from being able to express myself through dance. I don't know what it is. I've always been the kind of person who could turn off the lights, turn on a song, and go. Lately it hasn't been that way. I feel stuck, like I am doing the same step over and over and over again, and then just stopping. So I've been writing. Whatever this thing is that is stuck in me I'm going to find a way to fuel it and get it out. My Good friend Fro will actually be around sometime next week to help me with this. Him and I sing together every time we are around each other and he actually started writing his own music. I told him how I've been writing and he wants to help me make some music. This is exciting... I've never written a song before, and I miss singing a lot. Maybe if we get something good I'll have it up here for you guys.

[Fro and I singing for our friends.]

Things with everything else are still the same. I want to know how things are going... but I am being patient, and being strong. Taking things in stride like an adult should. This is also new. I am trying to be mature about things, no matter how much it hurts because I care about him, and sometimes other things need to be put aside so that there is room to follow our dreams.

keep chasing your dreams sweet boy. Keep chasing the light that we once ran for together. At the end of the road you'll think you're alone... oh but baby, I know better <3

The It

Its funny how it works sometimes. The it I'm talking about is relationships.
Alex and I are currently not seeing each other. Who knows if its forever, or for tomorrow but it still sucks. Normally I'm not one to talk about my love life to the blogging world, I like to keep it low key, but I gotta get it out of my system. He is great and sweet and kind, he really is and I understand why it has to be this way. He has this one year, this one shot to get school right this time... he has to be greedy about it and he should. The program is intense already and he's only two days in, he hasn't started any internships or studio time or anything. He really has his head on right about it.. He wants to be top of his class, he wants to prove to everyone what he is made of, and I stand by him 100% for that. It hurts and it sucks but I could never stand in the way of his dreams because he would never try to get in the way of mine.

I just hopes he knows I'm here for him, That I care about him a lot, and that I know school comes first, life comes first, but that will never change how I feel about him.







"He's got the sweetest eyes and sings the saddest songs.. but I, I dance to them anyway."

Day 7 and.. HELP!

Day Seven: Four turn offs

1)Drugs. I don't like them, I never will. Do what you want with them, its not my opinion, but Don't expect me to find you the least bit attractive while you are injecting, inhaling, or snorting anything.

2) Pointless Tattoos. Don't get me wrong here.. I LOVE THE INK! I have one, and want more, myself. However, I do not like it when someone has the little tramp stamp of the butterfly with the swirlies and when asked "why did you get that" and the response is "I don't know, I felt like it.. it looked kinda cool"

3) Bossing females around. Just because I have a uterus does not mean I belong in a kitchen with an apron making you a sandwich! I do things for you when I want to because I like to, not when you feel like you need a personal assistant.

4) People who don't know how to wear their clothes correctly!!!!!!!!!!! There is nothing that I hate more than seeing the entire butt of a guy when the bottom of their shorts reach their ankles. Whats the point of the shorts? you are now wearing pants! A little boxer showing is fine... and sometimes even cute, as the elastic usually shows when a pair of jeans are hanging right. Not to just hate on the guys either... I don't like it when girls don't wear clothes right either. Know how your body works... and don't live in denial. If you are my size why are you wearing an extra small t-shirt? That makes you look fat even when you are not.
I know I am really going on about this, but fashion has got to be one of my biggest pet peeves. I am forever going through clothes, finding what works and what doesn't. I'm really big on finding things that compliment your figure so if you're a stick you look curvy and if your maybe "chunky" you look slimmer. I don't know. I seriously could go on for days and days.. with both genders (man am I lucky my boyfriend knows how to dress himself... actually.. that I have had really good luck with dating guys who know how to actually wear clothes.. maybe that's what attracts me to them?). I have always said how I wanted to be a personal shopper for people.. because well.. people need help. But again, I keep blabbing and there is no need to. Can you tell that this is pretty much my biggest turn off?
CHANGING SUBJECTS!


I think my blog needs some help. It needs some major revamping. The only problem is I have no idea how to do it. When I was younger and I was lame and had a live journal and a myspace I felt like I knew how to do tons of stuff to change it up and add things... now I look at it blankly. Look how boring my blog looks.. how overly large the writing section seems, how I want to make separate pages and link them (like an about me or something?), I want to advertise some of my favorite blogs, add side pictures.. anything!!!!!! It needs to not be so dull anymore! Seriously.. if someone helps me out, I will buy you a coffee! (or a tea, if that's what you prefer!)

Day 6

Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)

1)My Maahhh Dukes- Obviously, she gave life.. she supported life, and she always forgives and forgets with her children so easily.. which is great because she gets mad at me a lot!

2)My Sister- A lot of people would think that it kinda stinks to have such a big gap in age with their sister. When I was younger.. it was true.. being five with a fifteen year old sister was tough... it was tough until I was about 17... but now she is one of my best friends, my mentor, and someone I really look up to. Plus, She gave me two awesome nieces and an adorable nephew.. I can't complain!

3) Steven- I'm so grateful to say that I still have my "original" best friend. From 3 years of age.. naps, baths, bike rides, stitches, family parties.. everything! It was fantastic growing up with another half. People always thought we were twins (aside from our brown hair honestly, I think we look very far from related!) because we have that weird bond that most of those dynamic duos have.

4) My MiMi- Otherwise known as gram. I have only had one grandparent for most of my life, and she has always been one of the strongest people I know. 80 years old and she still works her own garden, holds the insane Hyslip Christmas Eve at her house, always is sure to have candy and all 15 of her grandchildren's favorites of everything, and be strong enough to be able to support herself and raise a family herself for the last 14 years.

5) Alex- and everything that comes attached with him.. like his sister, and his roommates. He does more for me then I deserve and is always so kind and willing and sweet. He makes it a little easier to breathe when I freak out, makes me laugh when I call him crying, always makes sure I am safe, and always makes me feel welcome. I am seriously grateful for him. He's like one of those people that looking back you never really realized how you went about your day without them.

In other news: Yesterday was my oldest nieces birthday. Brittiana turned 7 yesterday.. SEVEN!! I can't believe it. I remember my Lynn-Marie and Pedro fighting over her name over dessert while all of us laughed like it was yesterday. I remember finding out it was a girl, being so excited and honored when I found out she was going to be named after me (and her Tia, Ana), the battle me and my brother had for her to say auntie or uncle first... and winning the battle. Gosh it seems crazy now.. she's gotten so old! [Winter and summer of 2008.. Tiana's only 4, and so tiny!]

I didn't buy her a present yet because she wants so much it just blows my mind. So at dinner yesterday I made a deal with her. After she finishes her homework I am taking her shopping today to pick out whatever she wants, then we are going to go out to dinner. I asked her where she wanted to go to dinner thinking I would get a usual second graders response of "FRIENDLYS! PIZZA! ANYWHERE WITH ICE CREAM!" What was I thinking? of course Tiana would not give me an answer like that. As soon as I told her the very first thing that came out of her mouth was "Long Horn Steakhouse.. and can we get the three sauce dipping chicken appetizer?" ....excuse me? Did you just turn 7, or 17?

[Fall of 2010, first day of 2ND grade!]

Day 5

Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.

Today I'm not going to post about this. Why you ask? Because I am a firm believe that you should never regret something you once did. I don't have anything that I look back and say "wow I wish I could go back in time and change this." For one... I make great decisions... (;p) and for two.. I believe that when you're about to do something, if you have to sit back and say (am I gonna regret this later?) then you probably just shouldn't do it.

sorry for the disappointment.. I know this one seems like a juicy one.

Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

ok so I fail at doing this ten days in a row.. but its okay.. I'm still getting it done!

7 things that cross my mind a lot.

1- I SHOULD REALLY GO TO THE GYM! (I say this to myself like every five minutes)
2- not living at home.
3-a real dance job, with a paying company
4-choreography, what am I going to do, I should work on some things
5-music... I need to find more.. I need some for my classes.. I need some for my classes thats not going to drive me up a wall
6-If I'm really ready to teach younger kids
7-Alex.. of course.. I don't get to talk to him much during the week anymore.. I wonder a lot what he is doing while I'm running around like a mad woman.






In other news.. The weekend was great! I got to go to Dean and see some old friends and celebrate Laura's 22nd! Had some drinks, caught up with everyone... oh.. AND BROUGHT BACK THE BANANA SUIT! Saturday was my cheer squads first game! Alexa and I were super nervous about it.. and three of the girls ended up there only 15 minutes before game time when they were suppose to be there an hour before game time.. which freaked us out a bit! It all worked out in the end.. they did great! I have pictures and a video but I'm at work right now (shhhh I'm totally working hard!) so I'll have to post them a little later! afterwards I got to meet with Nailah and Jean oh oh oh and Miss Alivia for a Janbe event! I am going to be blogging more about it later so you all get to know about it... but it was really awesome seeing everyone! We have a lot of work for this next fund raiser.. but I think its going to work out awesome.
Sunday.. Sunday was football.. football.. football.. oh.. and more football with Alex! I mean... what else would you have done??

Hope everyone else had a great weekend! =)