Saturday, March 27, 2010

home #2

Doing something unexpected leaves ppl talking abt a home. have a fridge frim the 60s?? well.. it makes a pretty cool entertainment center...

Pacman makes a great storage unit

why shouldnt a swing belong in a kitchen? its just another place to sit... right?

I LOVE when spaces are interesting... but more importantly... the space is utilized..

seriously.. a bay window makes a cool seat.. but it makes an even cooler bed..

I dont have a big bedroom at home.. and frankly.. I walk into my computer desk all the time because of it.. If I could do this to my closet.. It would be amazing... I could hide my workspace and be way more organized.

how many ppl could hang out in this room comfortably?? lets try.. A LOT!!! sick for a movie night!

Got a little bedroom like me? no worries... bed on top... living on bottom.. sounds great! =)

I hate it when people are afraid to play with color. Colors make people happy.. more people need to just be bold and explore colors.. even in the simplest form..

accents are cool when you have to keep your walls white

accessories like lights are always a really cool way to add color to rooms

furniture and curtains too. Who said you had to paint your walls to have a colorful creative space? sometimes white walls keep things bright, and the accents keep things interesting.. keep the eyes looking

and sometimes... why not just get out of control? haha

I LOVE when people arent afraid to be bold, do things like paint their ceilings

speaking of.. I LOVE high ceilings

someday I want a room with A TON of books... I want a library in my house, with books for all ages...

but I wanna keep it interesting.. I dont just want a room with a few book shelves

books should BE the room... its like a sanctuary...

.... I guess books are a little important to me haha

okay.. thats enough of my rambling on my obsessions with houses. hopefully one day I'll have pictures of my own place... and how amazing it will hopefully look.. =)

One day I'll have a house pt1

I've always been into interior design... I loooooovvvee making a home unique, and making it show your personality, who you are... afterall, that is what makes it from a house to your home.
I can't wait to have my own home.. and I can be creative and expor so many different ways to decorate it... I just keep seeing all these pictures that inspire me to do it.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE unique bedrooms... thats your ultimate personal space.. it should be unique and special to you.

Friday, March 26, 2010


You ruined me...
I used to have control over my life... things went well... problems never seemed too big.
Now I feel like I can't get things right. Things keep breaking... friendships, ties, even material things.
I can't find ways to cross over right, hook the line, reel them in
Now I lay it out on the line because I am open
and bare and my heart is unprotected.
and only because you ruined me.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Small Pleasures!

Logged on to my computer today and yahoo had a story titled 101 small pleasures. I very much like a lot of things on this list! =)

  1. coloring (yes, grown-ups can do it, too)
  2. crisp cotton sheets
  3. soft skin
  4. old family recipes
  5. the first daffodils of spring
  6. sleeping in
  7. an exercise endorphin high
  8. window boxes
  9. a perfect cup of coffee
  10. a genuine compliment (giving or receiving)
  11. the way babies smell
  12. a handwritten letter
  13. waking up in a good mood...for no real reason
  14. singing in the shower
  15. finding a couple forgotten dollars in your pocket (YESSSS!!!!!!!)
  16. doing something nice for your neighbor
  17. a home cooked meal
  18. laughing
  19. movie theater popcorn
  20. playing hookey
  21. a bubble bath
  22. swimming
  23. an afternoon nap (I need more of these)
  24. street musicians
  25. your favorite song
  26. saying thank you
  27. helping someone in need
  28. old fashioned photo booths
  29. fresh whipped cream
  30. inspiring blogs
  31. a glass of wine
  32. rainy afternoons (these make people happy.. I suppose when you have someone to cuddle with all afternoon!)
  33. the funny things kids say
  34. a novel you can get lost in
  35. finding the perfect piece of clothing...on sale
  36. clean laundry
  37. the wind in your hair
  38. treating the person behind you at the drive-thru
  39. sharing an umbrella
  40. the smell of lavender
  41. a long walk that clears your head
  42. a bear hug
  43. The Beatles
  44. smiling at a stranger
  45. eating with chopsticks (Chinese food optional)
  46. butterflies
  47. staying in your pj's all day
  48. singing along to the radio and knowing all the words
  49. fresh herbs
  50. ordering in pizza
  51. happy endings...even if they're fictional
  52. flying a kite
  53. puppies
  54. root beer floats
  55. holding open the door...
  56. ...or having someone hold the door for you
  57. fountain soda
  58. white, fluffy towels
  59. sunshine
  60. spending an afternoon at a museum
  61. really great advice
  62. green lights all the way home
  63. the sound of rain hitting the windows (once again... most of us are sick of the rain.. really yahoo??)
  64. sitting in a booth
  65. holding hands
  66. a great hair day with no effort
  67. building a fort with your kids
  68. when someone falls asleep with their head on your shoulder
  69. fireflies
  70. the perfect taco
  71. geraniums on a windowsill
  72. slow dancing
  73. the smell of fresh-baked bread
  74. cheesy, uplifting musicals
  75. great stories
  76. the smell of gasoline
  77. the cold side of the pillow
  78. love letters
  79. old friends...
  80. friends
  81. a pull-through parking space (these are the best... because I never park straight!)
  82. a baguette -- crisp on the outside, airy on the inside
  83. when a dog licks your hand
  84. sitting at the counter at an old-fashioned diner
  85. using your favorite dishes
  86. reading your child a bedtime story
  87. Girl Scout Cookies
  88. flossing
  89. kissing someone you love
  90. the smell of onions and garlic cooking
  91. hot chocolate
  92. jumping in puddles
  93. old photographs
  94. birds hopping on the sidewalk
  95. Ella Fitzgerald
  96. a spoonful of peanut butter straight from the jar
  97. your softest t-shirt
  98. a new magazine in the mail
  99. fireplaces
  100. having exact change
  101. bacon and pancakes cooking on Saturday morning

Monday, March 22, 2010

You should never limit your creativity

So as you all probably know.. I'm obsessed with photography. I could look at it for hours and hours and hours and I always want to share it with people. Its one of those things that I also just want to be knowledgeable and good at. I've got the whole, dancing, singing, choreographing, Writing and painting done. now I just really need to learn an instrument, and I need to work on my photography and film skills. I see it this way, creativity is the breeder of life. It might not make your organs or muscles or any of that junk, but I really believe it makes your soul. I don't think on the lines of me wanting to be an over achiever or anything because of it... its just what makes me the happiest. I am a creative person, I like to try new things, push limits, breathe light on different subjects. For me it is the greatest stress reliever, just doing something, making something new or renewing it, I feel like I can't even describe it.. that's how much I love it.
and with that being said.. Sarah and I decided to go on an adventure this weekend. we found this beautiful park and went and took tons and tons of photos!!! These are my favorite shots that I took of Sarah, and the two at the bottom are my favorites that Sarah took of me! =)
I think I'm getting the hang of it... now all I need is a good camera =D

Sunday, March 21, 2010

When Beauty Is Only Skin Deep

I’ve never been that big on how I look. Obviously I do care enough to want to look like a 21 year old girl… shaved legs, brushed teeth, clean face… but I’m happy in a Dean College tshirt and boys sweatpants with my hair in a messy bun any day, and most days. I’ve never been too big on calories or what is good or bad to eat… I always figured I ate pretty well anyhow, and I dance anywhere from one and a half to three hours a day in just classes, on top of another one to two hours of rehearsals a night.

But lately something has changed in me. I’ve started going to auditions for dance jobs (so far just two). Something is so strange about me now. I’ve reverted back to feelings I had when I was thirteen. I’m trying to wear flashier clothing, I’m overly embarrassed about my figure, my skin, I’m wearing tons of make up, I’ve gone tanning twice in the last two weeks, and I’m obsessing over myself in the mirror a lot… sometimes bringing two or more shirts or dresses into the bathroom with me to see what hides and compliments more... bye bye t-shirt.

I haven’t quite figured out this obsession I’ve had lately… but I don’t feel pretty anymore. I used to be accepting of my body. I mean sure there’s the occasional wow I need a little eyeliner, maybe I should go to the gym tomorrow, but never like this. I hate myself for not going to the gym or going for a walk or anything super active for one day, I feel like I’ve been starving myself for most of the day (100 calorie pack here, yogurt there, banana here) and then at some random hour, usually around 4 when my classes are done, I’m starving to the point of feeling sick and I totally veg and feel disgusting again.

I think its been caused by two things recently in my life. One, I have been working in the dance competition circuit now for about a month. This means looking at these girls in these show it all glittery costumes, perfect hair and make-up, pretty smiles, and I’m surrounded by them. Of course there are a few bad apples… there always are, but the rest are very pretty. Second, being cut at these auditions and seeing who stays. What the girls who were cut look like, and what the girls who were kept look like. The ones kept have this big commercial beauty to them. The perfect hair, big smiles, great skin, very photogenic… they could sell you anything just by standing and smiling. I don’t think I’m one of those.

So it got me to thinking. I need some revamping. Yes I want to tone my body more and I want to be thinner, I want to have great skin and great hair… I want to be accepted, but I need to be accepted by me first.

I know I’m not huge into tattoos, I’ve got one, yes, but I want to get a job as a performer and sometimes that’s difficult when you’re inked up, but I want another one, for sentimental reasons. I haven’t quite decided where I want it and I know its going to be a pretty good amount of time before I even get it… but it has a very important message.


Its something I have to learn how to do. I am not always going to think I look great. Some days I might feel fat, some weeks my skin is going to break out, when its humid my hair is going to frizz, and in the wintertime I am going to be pale, but does that make me any less beautiful than the girl covered in bronzer eating her apple with her sweet abs? I’m not perfect… I never want to be. Imperfections are what make people perfect, it makes them human. I just need to remember this. Sometimes I forget, and I fall into this place where I am now; extremely unhappy all the time, hoping a cup of coffee will subdue the hunger pains, and getting little hours of sleep because I am up at night stressing with all these different scenarios thinking maybe if I was just a little prettier, just a little thinner, I could have everything I want. What kind of lie am I feeding myself?







Saturday, March 13, 2010

Swing Life Away

I forgot about this song... but I really love it.

Am I loud and clear, or am I breaking up?
Am I still your charm, or am I just bad luck?
Are we getting closer, or are we just getting more lost?

I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

I've been here so long, I think that it's time to move
The winter's so cold, summer's over too soon
Let's pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow

I've got some friends, some that I hardly know
But we've had some times, I wouldn't trade for the world
We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go

We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand....until you hold my hand

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Some of my Favorite Movie Quotes

I've been watching a lot of movies while I was home this week. Mostly just as background when I'm alone in my room, or as something to fall asleep to. I have forgotten how many great quotes have come from these movies. love love love!

"When you grow up your heart dies" The breakfast club

"One day can change your life. One day can ruin your life. All life is is three or four big days that change everything." -Riding In Cars With Boys

"Maybe. Or, uh... maybe that whole love thing is just a grown-up version of Santa Claus; just a myth we've been fed since childhood. So, we keep buying magazines, joining clubs, and doing therapy and watching movies with hit pop songs played over love montages all in a pathetic attempt to explain why our love Santa keeps getting caught in the chimney." -Kate and Leopold

"The things you own end up owning you" -Fight Club

I know a lot more great ones, I just cant think of them off the top of my head... considering its 3am!! I'll post more up later!

when all is said and done

Its the ones that have been there in the beginning
the ones that never stop surprising you.

Sunday, March 7, 2010


- I'm really into the goofy funny guy

- I love someone who isn't afraid to smile. Smile is the first thing I notice.

- After that... its the eyes.

-all of which you posses... plus I have this trust in you, this safe feeling with you.

-I want the courage to just say how I feel to people. I hate how much of a wuss I am.

- more then anything, I dont want to skip out on this. I know it changes things, I know people might not like it, and I def know that if it happens and it goes wrong that it could change things in a bad way.

-but what if it works out? what if this is good? if this is what we need?

-since 18.. seriously.. since 18 I've had a crush on you... you've dated people, I've dated people, but at the end of the day this is what it has come down to.... 3 years of thinking the world of you... of laughing at all your bad jokes... trying to think of something witty to say. and then something happens and it escalates... now what am I suppose to do?

I'm sick of how many thoughts about all of this I keep having. I used to only think about it when I was around you... now.. now its all the time =/

Because I love Rosie Hardie Photography, and Because You Never Replied...

today I am feeling disappointed.
I'd really like for this whole thing to work out. It would be absolutely fantastic.
great? great.
I'm looking for my week to end up being a lot better than it is. I hope things turn around.

I don't want you to be slipping away....

I only want you close to me.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

I have amazing thoughts in the shower.

So I was thinking... I ponder a lot when I'm in the shower. I feel like its my only place to think... and for some reason this is what I thought about....
Dancers and their technique.
I think its because I had auditions for Synergy show tonight and those always mess with my thoughts and emotions. But this is what I was thinking about...
The best part of a dancer... is it really their technique? I don't think it is. What do I think is the best quality in a dancer?
Perseverance. Really... Having the ability to keep pushing...
Dancers are always learning, always growing, always exploring, creating, and inspiring. If you aren't being persistent then you aren't willing to push to make yourself that much better, to want to get up every morning and do it all over again even after a day full of cuts and bruises.
Even when looking under the theology in it states
that perseverance is "continuance in a state of grace to the end, leading to eternal salvation". now if that doesn't sound like what a dancer wants out of their life... then I don't know how they would want this lifestyle.
Life is Movement - Movement is Life.