Saturday, March 27, 2010
Doing something unexpected leaves ppl talking abt a home. have a fridge frim the 60s?? well.. it makes a pretty cool entertainment center...
Pacman makes a great storage unit
why shouldnt a swing belong in a kitchen? its just another place to sit... right?
I LOVE when spaces are interesting... but more importantly... the space is utilized..
seriously.. a bay window makes a cool seat.. but it makes an even cooler bed..
I dont have a big bedroom at home.. and frankly.. I walk into my computer desk all the time because of it.. If I could do this to my closet.. It would be amazing... I could hide my workspace and be way more organized.
how many ppl could hang out in this room comfortably?? lets try.. A LOT!!! sick for a movie night!
Got a little bedroom like me? no worries... bed on top... living on bottom.. sounds great! =)
I hate it when people are afraid to play with color. Colors make people happy.. more people need to just be bold and explore colors.. even in the simplest form..
accents are cool when you have to keep your walls white
accessories like lights are always a really cool way to add color to rooms
furniture and curtains too. Who said you had to paint your walls to have a colorful creative space? sometimes white walls keep things bright, and the accents keep things interesting.. keep the eyes looking
and sometimes... why not just get out of control? haha
I LOVE when people arent afraid to be bold, do things like paint their ceilings
speaking of.. I LOVE high ceilings
someday I want a room with A TON of books... I want a library in my house, with books for all ages...
but I wanna keep it interesting.. I dont just want a room with a few book shelves
books should BE the room... its like a sanctuary...
.... I guess books are a little important to me haha
okay.. thats enough of my rambling on my obsessions with houses. hopefully one day I'll have pictures of my own place... and how amazing it will hopefully look.. =)
I can't wait to have my own home.. and I can be creative and expor so many different ways to decorate it... I just keep seeing all these pictures that inspire me to do it.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE unique bedrooms... thats your ultimate personal space.. it should be unique and special to you.
Friday, March 26, 2010
You ruined me...
I used to have control over my life... things went well... problems never seemed too big.
Now I feel like I can't get things right. Things keep breaking... friendships, ties, even material things.
I can't find ways to cross over right, hook the line, reel them in
Now I lay it out on the line because I am open
and bare and my heart is unprotected.
and only because you ruined me.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
- coloring (yes, grown-ups can do it, too)
- crisp cotton sheets
- soft skin
- old family recipes
- the first daffodils of spring
- sleeping in
- an exercise endorphin high
- window boxes
- a perfect cup of coffee
- a genuine compliment (giving or receiving)
- the way babies smell
- a handwritten letter
- waking up in a good mood...for no real reason
- singing in the shower
- finding a couple forgotten dollars in your pocket (YESSSS!!!!!!!)
- doing something nice for your neighbor
- a home cooked meal
- movie theater popcorn
- playing hookey
- a bubble bath
- an afternoon nap (I need more of these)
- street musicians
- your favorite song
- saying thank you
- helping someone in need
- old fashioned photo booths
- fresh whipped cream
- inspiring blogs
- a glass of wine
- rainy afternoons (these make people happy.. I suppose when you have someone to cuddle with all afternoon!)
- the funny things kids say
- a novel you can get lost in
- finding the perfect piece of clothing...on sale
- clean laundry
- the wind in your hair
- treating the person behind you at the drive-thru
- sharing an umbrella
- the smell of lavender
- a long walk that clears your head
- a bear hug
- The Beatles
- smiling at a stranger
- eating with chopsticks (Chinese food optional)
- staying in your pj's all day
- singing along to the radio and knowing all the words
- fresh herbs
- ordering in pizza
- happy endings...even if they're fictional
- flying a kite
- root beer floats
- holding open the door...
- ...or having someone hold the door for you
- fountain soda
- white, fluffy towels
- spending an afternoon at a museum
- really great advice
- green lights all the way home
- the sound of rain hitting the windows (once again... most of us are sick of the rain.. really yahoo??)
- sitting in a booth
- holding hands
- a great hair day with no effort
- building a fort with your kids
- when someone falls asleep with their head on your shoulder
- the perfect taco
- geraniums on a windowsill
- slow dancing
- the smell of fresh-baked bread
- cheesy, uplifting musicals
- great stories
- the smell of gasoline
- the cold side of the pillow
- love letters
- old friends...
- ...new friends
- a pull-through parking space (these are the best... because I never park straight!)
- a baguette -- crisp on the outside, airy on the inside
- when a dog licks your hand
- sitting at the counter at an old-fashioned diner
- using your favorite dishes
- reading your child a bedtime story
- Girl Scout Cookies
- kissing someone you love
- the smell of onions and garlic cooking
- hot chocolate
- jumping in puddles
- old photographs
- birds hopping on the sidewalk
- Ella Fitzgerald
- a spoonful of peanut butter straight from the jar
- your softest t-shirt
- a new magazine in the mail
- having exact change
- bacon and pancakes cooking on Saturday morning
Monday, March 22, 2010
and with that being said.. Sarah and I decided to go on an adventure this weekend. we found this beautiful park and went and took tons and tons of photos!!! These are my favorite shots that I took of Sarah, and the two at the bottom are my favorites that Sarah took of me! =)
I think I'm getting the hang of it... now all I need is a good camera =D
Sunday, March 21, 2010
I’ve never been that big on how I look. Obviously I do care enough to want to look like a 21 year old girl… shaved legs, brushed teeth, clean face… but I’m happy in a Dean College tshirt and boys sweatpants with my hair in a messy bun any day, and most days. I’ve never been too big on calories or what is good or bad to eat… I always figured I ate pretty well anyhow, and I dance anywhere from one and a half to three hours a day in just classes, on top of another one to two hours of rehearsals a night.
But lately something has changed in me. I’ve started going to auditions for dance jobs (so far just two). Something is so strange about me now. I’ve reverted back to feelings I had when I was thirteen. I’m trying to wear flashier clothing, I’m overly embarrassed about my figure, my skin, I’m wearing tons of make up, I’ve gone tanning twice in the last two weeks, and I’m obsessing over myself in the mirror a lot… sometimes bringing two or more shirts or dresses into the bathroom with me to see what hides and compliments more... bye bye t-shirt.
I haven’t quite figured out this obsession I’ve had lately… but I don’t feel pretty anymore. I used to be accepting of my body. I mean sure there’s the occasional wow I need a little eyeliner, maybe I should go to the gym tomorrow, but never like this. I hate myself for not going to the gym or going for a walk or anything super active for one day, I feel like I’ve been starving myself for most of the day (100 calorie pack here, yogurt there, banana here) and then at some random hour, usually around 4 when my classes are done, I’m starving to the point of feeling sick and I totally veg and feel disgusting again.
I think its been caused by two things recently in my life. One, I have been working in the dance competition circuit now for about a month. This means looking at these girls in these show it all glittery costumes, perfect hair and make-up, pretty smiles, and I’m surrounded by them. Of course there are a few bad apples… there always are, but the rest are very pretty. Second, being cut at these auditions and seeing who stays. What the girls who were cut look like, and what the girls who were kept look like. The ones kept have this big commercial beauty to them. The perfect hair, big smiles, great skin, very photogenic… they could sell you anything just by standing and smiling. I don’t think I’m one of those.
So it got me to thinking. I need some revamping. Yes I want to tone my body more and I want to be thinner, I want to have great skin and great hair… I want to be accepted, but I need to be accepted by me first.
I know I’m not huge into tattoos, I’ve got one, yes, but I want to get a job as a performer and sometimes that’s difficult when you’re inked up, but I want another one, for sentimental reasons. I haven’t quite decided where I want it and I know its going to be a pretty good amount of time before I even get it… but it has a very important message.
LOVE YOURSELF FIRST
Its something I have to learn how to do. I am not always going to think I look great. Some days I might feel fat, some weeks my skin is going to break out, when its humid my hair is going to frizz, and in the wintertime I am going to be pale, but does that make me any less beautiful than the girl covered in bronzer eating her apple with her sweet abs? I’m not perfect… I never want to be. Imperfections are what make people perfect, it makes them human. I just need to remember this. Sometimes I forget, and I fall into this place where I am now; extremely unhappy all the time, hoping a cup of coffee will subdue the hunger pains, and getting little hours of sleep because I am up at night stressing with all these different scenarios thinking maybe if I was just a little prettier, just a little thinner, I could have everything I want. What kind of lie am I feeding myself?
LOVE YOUR BODY
DON’T LET ANYONE ELSE SELL YOUR SHORT FOR HOW AMAZING YOU ARE
DON’T LET A MIRROR LIE TO YOU
DON’T DELETE PHOTOGRAPHS BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU LOOK FAT
KNOW THAT NO ONE CAN LOVE YOU AND APPRECIATE YOU IF YOU CAN’T FIND THE LOVE AND APPRECIATION FOR YOURSELF FIRST.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Am I still your charm, or am I just bad luck?
Are we getting closer, or are we just getting more lost?
I'll show you mine if you show me yours first
Let's compare scars, I'll tell you whose is worse
Let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words
We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand
I've been here so long, I think that it's time to move
The winter's so cold, summer's over too soon
Let's pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow
I've got some friends, some that I hardly know
But we've had some times, I wouldn't trade for the world
We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go
We live on front porches and swing life away,
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave till the end,
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand....until you hold my hand
Thursday, March 11, 2010
"When you grow up your heart dies" The breakfast club
"One day can change your life. One day can ruin your life. All life is is three or four big days that change everything." -Riding In Cars With Boys
"Maybe. Or, uh... maybe that whole love thing is just a grown-up version of Santa Claus; just a myth we've been fed since childhood. So, we keep buying magazines, joining clubs, and doing therapy and watching movies with hit pop songs played over love montages all in a pathetic attempt to explain why our love Santa keeps getting caught in the chimney." -Kate and Leopold
"The things you own end up owning you" -Fight Club
I know a lot more great ones, I just cant think of them off the top of my head... considering its 3am!! I'll post more up later!
Sunday, March 7, 2010
- I'm really into the goofy funny guy
- I love someone who isn't afraid to smile. Smile is the first thing I notice.
- After that... its the eyes.
-all of which you posses... plus I have this trust in you, this safe feeling with you.
-I want the courage to just say how I feel to people. I hate how much of a wuss I am.
- more then anything, I dont want to skip out on this. I know it changes things, I know people might not like it, and I def know that if it happens and it goes wrong that it could change things in a bad way.
-but what if it works out? what if this is good? if this is what we need?
-since 18.. seriously.. since 18 I've had a crush on you... you've dated people, I've dated people, but at the end of the day this is what it has come down to.... 3 years of thinking the world of you... of laughing at all your bad jokes... trying to think of something witty to say. and then something happens and it escalates... now what am I suppose to do?
I'm sick of how many thoughts about all of this I keep having. I used to only think about it when I was around you... now.. now its all the time =/
today I am feeling disappointed.
I'd really like for this whole thing to work out. It would be absolutely fantastic.
I'm looking for my week to end up being a lot better than it is. I hope things turn around.
I don't want you to be slipping away....
I only want you close to me.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
So I was thinking... I ponder a lot when I'm in the shower. I feel like its my only place to think... and for some reason this is what I thought about....
Dancers and their technique.
I think its because I had auditions for Synergy show tonight and those always mess with my thoughts and emotions. But this is what I was thinking about...
The best part of a dancer... is it really their technique? I don't think it is. What do I think is the best quality in a dancer? Perseverance. Really... Having the ability to keep pushing...
Dancers are always learning, always growing, always exploring, creating, and inspiring. If you aren't being persistent then you aren't willing to push to make yourself that much better, to want to get up every morning and do it all over again even after a day full of cuts and bruises.
Even when looking under the theology in dictionary.com it states that perseverance is "continuance in a state of grace to the end, leading to eternal salvation". now if that doesn't sound like what a dancer wants out of their life... then I don't know how they would want this lifestyle.
Life is Movement - Movement is Life.