If music be the food of love...

... I wish to order some take out...

I wrote today. I drove to Dean, met up with the Fro-ster and we went to a music room and just wrote. We don't have music yet, but we've got lyrics (music and lyrics, ever see that movie? way adorable) to TWO songs! here they are:

I'd Tell You

If I had the chance to tell you everything
I would.
I'd tell you I'm not her
Things wouldn't have been the same
and that's what kills me

He has the sweetest eyes
and sings the saddest songs.

Keep chasing your dreams
sweet boy
Keep chasing the light
we once ran for together.
At the end of the road you'll think
you're alone
But baby, I know better.

If I had the chance to tell you everything,
I would
I'd tell you you're crazy
For thinking your dreams would break us.
When following my dreams is what saved me.

He has the sweetest eyes
and sings the saddest songs.

Keep chasing your dreams
sweet boy
Keep chasing the light
we once ran for together.
At the end of the road you'll think
you're alone
But baby, I know better.

Do you really know what it's like
or do you live a lie?
intoxicated on the floor
screaming for more
and trying not to talk to you.
Do you know what its like
to be heartbroken by someone?
Someone like you?

Keep chasing your dreams
sweet boy
Keep chasing the light
we once ran for together.
At the end of the road you'll think
you're alone
But baby, I know better.


I'd tell you everything
I'd tell you everything
I'd tell you
He's got the sweetest eyes
and sings the saddest songs.

Share My Grave

Combing back from the tomb
we once shared
you forgot to put me back
back in my grave.

A part of you is dead
now a part of me is dead too
Leave me kicking and screaming
you're running out scared.

Fill my body up with bones
Either way
You have half my soul
You have half my soul.

Crawling back my limbs fall apart
you know what you took from me
baby, give me back my heart.

I've got your smile
I've got your arms to hold me
Lets make a trade
Lets go back to the start.

Fill my body up with bones
Either way
You have half my soul
 You have half my soul.

Remember we once lived
Rosy cheeked blood running through our flesh
I'd die a thousand ways to see that sunrise with you.
Just a dead lit moon and me wanting to be your best.


Fill my body up with bones
Either way
you have half my soul
Fill my body up with bones
Either way
You have half my soul

Either way you have half my soul
Let me give you the rest.

Fracture

We are only TWO WEEKS AWAY from my first dance show!! =)
October 8th and 9th (fri,sat) at the dance complex in Cambridge MA.
8pm- there are still tickets left.. come see me on my journey to fame! =p

Go to this link and check us out!
http://www.luminariumdance.org/


to buy tickets call 617.477.4494 or email Fracture.Dance@gmail.com
seniors and students are $10, regular admission is $15

Hope to see you there =)

New Things

I took new photographs of Stephanie two nights ago. I LOVE taking photographs... I know I keep saying how badly I want to go back to school, more and more I am leaning towards an MFA in dance or pedagogy... but theres that little piece inside of me that wants to go to photography school. In a perfect world (which I know is so far from true) there would be a school that would let me do both.



I currently have a new song that I cannot get out of my head. Well, its not "New" but being stuck in my head is new. Its "Just Breathe" by Pearl Jam





I'm so in love with it. Thank you Pearl Jam.. you have probably been one of the most clutch bands in my 22 years of existence. No matter what I am going through or how happy or sad I am, you always have a song that speaks to me.


I've been writing a lot too, which is new. I have something inside me that is keeping me from being able to express myself through dance. I don't know what it is. I've always been the kind of person who could turn off the lights, turn on a song, and go. Lately it hasn't been that way. I feel stuck, like I am doing the same step over and over and over again, and then just stopping. So I've been writing. Whatever this thing is that is stuck in me I'm going to find a way to fuel it and get it out. My Good friend Fro will actually be around sometime next week to help me with this. Him and I sing together every time we are around each other and he actually started writing his own music. I told him how I've been writing and he wants to help me make some music. This is exciting... I've never written a song before, and I miss singing a lot. Maybe if we get something good I'll have it up here for you guys.

[Fro and I singing for our friends.]

Things with everything else are still the same. I want to know how things are going... but I am being patient, and being strong. Taking things in stride like an adult should. This is also new. I am trying to be mature about things, no matter how much it hurts because I care about him, and sometimes other things need to be put aside so that there is room to follow our dreams.

keep chasing your dreams sweet boy. Keep chasing the light that we once ran for together. At the end of the road you'll think you're alone... oh but baby, I know better <3

The It

Its funny how it works sometimes. The it I'm talking about is relationships.
Alex and I are currently not seeing each other. Who knows if its forever, or for tomorrow but it still sucks. Normally I'm not one to talk about my love life to the blogging world, I like to keep it low key, but I gotta get it out of my system. He is great and sweet and kind, he really is and I understand why it has to be this way. He has this one year, this one shot to get school right this time... he has to be greedy about it and he should. The program is intense already and he's only two days in, he hasn't started any internships or studio time or anything. He really has his head on right about it.. He wants to be top of his class, he wants to prove to everyone what he is made of, and I stand by him 100% for that. It hurts and it sucks but I could never stand in the way of his dreams because he would never try to get in the way of mine.

I just hopes he knows I'm here for him, That I care about him a lot, and that I know school comes first, life comes first, but that will never change how I feel about him.







"He's got the sweetest eyes and sings the saddest songs.. but I, I dance to them anyway."

Day 7 and.. HELP!

Day Seven: Four turn offs

1)Drugs. I don't like them, I never will. Do what you want with them, its not my opinion, but Don't expect me to find you the least bit attractive while you are injecting, inhaling, or snorting anything.

2) Pointless Tattoos. Don't get me wrong here.. I LOVE THE INK! I have one, and want more, myself. However, I do not like it when someone has the little tramp stamp of the butterfly with the swirlies and when asked "why did you get that" and the response is "I don't know, I felt like it.. it looked kinda cool"

3) Bossing females around. Just because I have a uterus does not mean I belong in a kitchen with an apron making you a sandwich! I do things for you when I want to because I like to, not when you feel like you need a personal assistant.

4) People who don't know how to wear their clothes correctly!!!!!!!!!!! There is nothing that I hate more than seeing the entire butt of a guy when the bottom of their shorts reach their ankles. Whats the point of the shorts? you are now wearing pants! A little boxer showing is fine... and sometimes even cute, as the elastic usually shows when a pair of jeans are hanging right. Not to just hate on the guys either... I don't like it when girls don't wear clothes right either. Know how your body works... and don't live in denial. If you are my size why are you wearing an extra small t-shirt? That makes you look fat even when you are not.
I know I am really going on about this, but fashion has got to be one of my biggest pet peeves. I am forever going through clothes, finding what works and what doesn't. I'm really big on finding things that compliment your figure so if you're a stick you look curvy and if your maybe "chunky" you look slimmer. I don't know. I seriously could go on for days and days.. with both genders (man am I lucky my boyfriend knows how to dress himself... actually.. that I have had really good luck with dating guys who know how to actually wear clothes.. maybe that's what attracts me to them?). I have always said how I wanted to be a personal shopper for people.. because well.. people need help. But again, I keep blabbing and there is no need to. Can you tell that this is pretty much my biggest turn off?
CHANGING SUBJECTS!


I think my blog needs some help. It needs some major revamping. The only problem is I have no idea how to do it. When I was younger and I was lame and had a live journal and a myspace I felt like I knew how to do tons of stuff to change it up and add things... now I look at it blankly. Look how boring my blog looks.. how overly large the writing section seems, how I want to make separate pages and link them (like an about me or something?), I want to advertise some of my favorite blogs, add side pictures.. anything!!!!!! It needs to not be so dull anymore! Seriously.. if someone helps me out, I will buy you a coffee! (or a tea, if that's what you prefer!)

Day 6

Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)

1)My Maahhh Dukes- Obviously, she gave life.. she supported life, and she always forgives and forgets with her children so easily.. which is great because she gets mad at me a lot!

2)My Sister- A lot of people would think that it kinda stinks to have such a big gap in age with their sister. When I was younger.. it was true.. being five with a fifteen year old sister was tough... it was tough until I was about 17... but now she is one of my best friends, my mentor, and someone I really look up to. Plus, She gave me two awesome nieces and an adorable nephew.. I can't complain!

3) Steven- I'm so grateful to say that I still have my "original" best friend. From 3 years of age.. naps, baths, bike rides, stitches, family parties.. everything! It was fantastic growing up with another half. People always thought we were twins (aside from our brown hair honestly, I think we look very far from related!) because we have that weird bond that most of those dynamic duos have.

4) My MiMi- Otherwise known as gram. I have only had one grandparent for most of my life, and she has always been one of the strongest people I know. 80 years old and she still works her own garden, holds the insane Hyslip Christmas Eve at her house, always is sure to have candy and all 15 of her grandchildren's favorites of everything, and be strong enough to be able to support herself and raise a family herself for the last 14 years.

5) Alex- and everything that comes attached with him.. like his sister, and his roommates. He does more for me then I deserve and is always so kind and willing and sweet. He makes it a little easier to breathe when I freak out, makes me laugh when I call him crying, always makes sure I am safe, and always makes me feel welcome. I am seriously grateful for him. He's like one of those people that looking back you never really realized how you went about your day without them.

In other news: Yesterday was my oldest nieces birthday. Brittiana turned 7 yesterday.. SEVEN!! I can't believe it. I remember my Lynn-Marie and Pedro fighting over her name over dessert while all of us laughed like it was yesterday. I remember finding out it was a girl, being so excited and honored when I found out she was going to be named after me (and her Tia, Ana), the battle me and my brother had for her to say auntie or uncle first... and winning the battle. Gosh it seems crazy now.. she's gotten so old! [Winter and summer of 2008.. Tiana's only 4, and so tiny!]

I didn't buy her a present yet because she wants so much it just blows my mind. So at dinner yesterday I made a deal with her. After she finishes her homework I am taking her shopping today to pick out whatever she wants, then we are going to go out to dinner. I asked her where she wanted to go to dinner thinking I would get a usual second graders response of "FRIENDLYS! PIZZA! ANYWHERE WITH ICE CREAM!" What was I thinking? of course Tiana would not give me an answer like that. As soon as I told her the very first thing that came out of her mouth was "Long Horn Steakhouse.. and can we get the three sauce dipping chicken appetizer?" ....excuse me? Did you just turn 7, or 17?

[Fall of 2010, first day of 2ND grade!]

Day 5

Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.

Today I'm not going to post about this. Why you ask? Because I am a firm believe that you should never regret something you once did. I don't have anything that I look back and say "wow I wish I could go back in time and change this." For one... I make great decisions... (;p) and for two.. I believe that when you're about to do something, if you have to sit back and say (am I gonna regret this later?) then you probably just shouldn't do it.

sorry for the disappointment.. I know this one seems like a juicy one.