Monday, May 17, 2010

You Ever Wish About Impossible Things?

Have you ever just wished for really impossible things to have? Like, The ability to read peoples minds. That is one I wish I had, it would help me a LOT right now!!
I told myself I wanted to do something important this summer while I am home. That something is reconnect with some people who I've lost along the way while being so busy at school for the last few years. The other, to figure out some things with people who I haven't lost touch with during these crazy four years. The second one with someone in particular. Just.. AHHHH. I said to myself "I'm going to figure out his intensions, because I have known what I've wanted from him for four years." well.. as always, men are confusing little creatures.
I know I said I was going to start making my blog actually mean something... but I think this one is really important, because I think that it does have to do with my future.
What if you love someone... even if you aren't sure of what kind of love it is they have back for you, and that makes you scared to leave them? This is how I feel. I want to just kno

whats going on. If I'm heartbroken maybe boarding a plane and moving away to make a name of myself is a great idea. But what if thats not the case. What if he turned around and said "Britteny, I feel the same way." "Britteny, I have real feelings for you" "Britteny, I don't want you to leave me for that cruise ship job for seven months"
I mean lets be serious we are talking about me and my luck with the male population here... so I doubt any of that would be said. I'm just saying... what if I finally figured it out... we finally figured it out... and then two weeks later I was traveling for seven months to a year in the ocean, only to dock once every couple of weeks back home anywhere (depending on where I get to dock from) That makes everything so complicated.

Him and I talked a few mornings ago... It was the morning after my grad party and we were just sitting there and he said to me "you should just go. You have this degree and you should do something with it... just go somewhere with it. Go to Vegas! Go Somewhere!"
He believes in me... and thats amazing and great... but maybe I'm just not ready to go yet.

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