Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Because I need to tell myself to stop and smell the roses.

Lately I feel like everything has been a complaint.. I was brought here as an intern to give my opinions, my thoughts, how to improve programs... everything I do is denied and shut down.... I am just another OL with a fancier name. I don't like how some things are going, I'm confused about other situations, and I feel like no matter how much I seem to be running, playing basketball, and going for 2 to 3 mile walks sometimes more than once a day... my body is just not getting to where I want it to be for a weekend of auditions this week. I've been miserable, naggy... why would anyone wanna be around that??
Then I read my dearly compassionate friend Alivia's blog. She listed all these simple things that she loves and then questioned us as readers to ask ourselves "What do you love? What's the first thing that comes to mind?"

Why havent I thought to do this when I've been so down this week?
theres so many things that I have been so happy about lately and I have only overpowered it with negativity and confusion about things, people, and situations. just thinking of the little things that make me happy, makes everything feel so much better.
I love the feeling of finishing a good book, which I did today... which I did outside because the weather was perfect to sit under a tree and just read.
I love my 5x7 picture of billy, mike, and luke. I hung it up above my computer desk.. it makes me laugh almost every morning, makes me laugh even more to think that I really hung it up in a room that I'm only spending a week in. They are some of my favorite parts of Dean.. and even though Billy's gone, and I'm technically gone, I have some of the best memories of working with them the last couple of years.
I love that I got to see my two nieces perform this weekend. Orientation has kept me from 3 years of recitals... They started dancing because they wanted to be like me, and I never got to support them and give them flowers and do their hair and makeup... when they have been in the front rows of ever single show I have been in in college cheering me on. It was such a great feeling to see them dance. I was so incredibly proud of them.

Yea I have had kind of a lapse in greatness and love and amazingness and magic in my life lately... we can't have that all the time I get it... but I am missing out on all the other wonderful things that have been surrounding me. I guess I just need some time to stop and smell the flowers...

3 comments:

  1. Britt, I love when you post! And I love your music, Nicole & I are listening to it in our sweltering apt right now and it's making me forget the heat.
    Everything is going to work out, and everything has a balance-- maybe you're being denied at this point in your life because (people are dumb!) maybe something bigger is waiting for you around the corner.
    Your comment about my blog made me so happy I think there were tears in my eyes (I am all sorts of emotional this morning, haha).
    Keep being the beautiful person, and dancer, you are.
    <3<3

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  2. Go brit! If they don't listen to you about orientation, it's their loss - you were the best OL ever. My parents spent that weekend fighting - over me - for the last time before their divorce. They were splitting up as the whole event went on, and you know what? YOUR infectious energy, humor and enthusiasm for everything we did pulled my sorry ass through, SMILING. That's no small feet, and if anyone DOESN'T think you know what you're talking about, they're a dumbass.

    And your body is beautiful and strong.

    Love you! Keep your chin up!

    Leilani

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