Lately I feel like everything has been a complaint.. I was brought here as an intern to give my opinions, my thoughts, how to improve programs... everything I do is denied and shut down.... I am just another OL with a fancier name. I don't like how some things are going, I'm confused about other situations, and I feel like no matter how much I seem to be running, playing basketball, and going for 2 to 3 mile walks sometimes more than once a day... my body is just not getting to where I want it to be for a weekend of auditions this week. I've been miserable, naggy... why would anyone wanna be around that??
Then I read my dearly compassionate friend Alivia's blog. She listed all these simple things that she loves and then questioned us as readers to ask ourselves "What do you love? What's the first thing that comes to mind?"
Why havent I thought to do this when I've been so down this week?
theres so many things that I have been so happy about lately and I have only overpowered it with negativity and confusion about things, people, and situations. just thinking of the little things that make me happy, makes everything feel so much better.
I love the feeling of finishing a good book, which I did today... which I did outside because the weather was perfect to sit under a tree and just read.
I love my 5x7 picture of billy, mike, and luke. I hung it up above my computer desk.. it makes me laugh almost every morning, makes me laugh even more to think that I really hung it up in a room that I'm only spending a week in. They are some of my favorite parts of Dean.. and even though Billy's gone, and I'm technically gone, I have some of the best memories of working with them the last couple of years.
I love that I got to see my two nieces perform this weekend. Orientation has kept me from 3 years of recitals... They started dancing because they wanted to be like me, and I never got to support them and give them flowers and do their hair and makeup... when they have been in the front rows of ever single show I have been in in college cheering me on. It was such a great feeling to see them dance. I was so incredibly proud of them.
Yea I have had kind of a lapse in greatness and love and amazingness and magic in my life lately... we can't have that all the time I get it... but I am missing out on all the other wonderful things that have been surrounding me. I guess I just need some time to stop and smell the flowers...