Falling Into Place

“Once you figure out who you are and what you love about yourself, I think it all kinda falls into place."

-Jennifer Anistan.

How true. I know I have been MIA the last couple of weeks... I've been slightly busy having things come together. It's strange how everything always just seems to happen at once. My life wasn't a complete mess (for once) but I feel as though the person I was two weeks ago just seems different than the person I am now. I'm more together, not worried, feeling like things are finally going my way. On the 8th something different happened. I finally through away that horrible shell I have had covering me from the male population. It's kind of weird how it happens. One minute I'm out by the fire with Fro singing songs with him as he played his guitar like we do every time we get together (we're the hired entertainment ;p ), the next minute I'm on the living room couch until 5 am talking about everything with Alex, wondering how it is I never got to know him sooner. We had been mutual friends for four years now. He went to Dean for a semester, but was part of the group of Ellington boys along with Nick and Hurley and Dan's (who I was very close friends with sophomore year) roommate for that semester and yet I never really knew him. He was just one of the guys at the yearly birthday and new years parties that I would say hey to and that was it. I'm glad I didn't put on my shell that I've had up the last year and a half... now here I am two weeks later and Alex has moved into his apartment just 40 minutes away in Mass and he's taking the train in Thursday to meet my parents.
The funny thing is that I didn't think I was going to have much in common with him, trust him, or find some sort of feelings for him. I knew who he was, I knew he hadn't had the best of reputations, I knew he was a trouble maker... I didn't know that the Alex that I remember was grown up and doing everything in his power to change all the negative thoughts about him. I'm glad I have learned that. He is amazing, and a great cook! (which is great for me because my extent to cooking is pancakes!)


Just a week later I was packing up my things and braving a 14 hour trip to North Carolina. Hogan had finally come home from the longest eight months of my life. Its so weird having a best friend who you consider your hero. He's like my Batman, all marines are... The fact that they get up every morning with one goal, bring the rest of their squad home safe, is honorable enough. spending a whole week with one of my brothers hearing of how brave he had been, all that he had done, and all that he had to face out there was inspiring and scary. I can do nothing but be thankful he is home. It was like the biggest sigh of relief. I saw him and my heart didn't seem so heavy anymore. No more waiting for a phone call, or praying that I didn't get a phone call.No more switching the channel when the news comes on in fear of seeing another lost marine, nothing... just the fullness of knowing that he is home. Amazing... I am so thankful.


MY WORK IS STARTING TO COME TOGETHER AS WELL! ILL BE ABLE TO PAY MY BILLS! HOLLER HOLLER HOLLER!!! I am now the receptionist of Exstream Software Solutions. Its not the most fun or exciting job, but I know I am going to learn a lot, and it is a great hands on experience on how to run a business considering my boss is the co-founder of the company. He also told me I would be able to work on some of the projects once I am comfortable there, go and view live web casts, watch in the creation, possibly sit in on some meetings, just be able to take everything that I want in. He's a pretty cool boss, very understanding and very sweet.. I think I am actually going to enjoy the job.
I started working on the concert piece Fracture with the Luminarium dance company. They are very new and I was very unsure of being a part of the company, but the trio I am a part of is great and I get to improv which is even better because it is one of my favorite things to do. I feel like my first rehearsal yesterday was a bit of a disaster with them... the weather was bad, it had been a long day, I was exhausted, and I really did not want to leave Alex's house (I honestly just wanted a nap!) but it was fun and it felt good to know that I am getting back into the swing of things and starting to dance again. Now if only I can start getting paid so I can get myself back into weekly ballet classes!!!

That may be it, I think! I feel like my life this summer was a bit of a mess. I had no job, I had no dance, and I was getting a little too independent for my own good. I'm ready to keep going now. I feel like I have things to look forward to. Its really weird to say but I'm definitely starting to not just feel like a big kid, but an adult. GO ME!

What a Love Hate Relationship

Yes shopping.. I am talking about you!!!

This post is almost a build off of my last one, Ode to Nike Awesome-ness!
I am going to North Carolina in about ten (TEN WOOOOOOO YAYAYAYAYAY) days and needed some vacation gear. I own 3 pairs of shorts, that's it. One denim (which were pants that became too short for me so I cut) 1 gray and 1 khaki. This needed to be changed!!! How was I suppose to go down south for 6 days and not have cute shorts??? so my mum and I went shopping. I LOVE shopping.. and I HATE shopping at the same time... I guess it goes back to the whole body image thing.

I know I am not large... I am 5'6 and 145lbs. Now according to most charts the ideal "Healthy" weight for this frame is 118(way too skinny!) to 155 pounds (which I weight at one point.. UGH!) but the "Ideal" weight is 130lbs. WHAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 15 POUNDS LESS THAN ME? YOU'RE JOKING!! NOW.. NOW I FEEL OVERWEIGHT!
and you no what.. I shouldn't... but I do... its that sick sick sick dancer stuck inside my head saying "you don't look like a ballerina, Britteny.. you can't lift your legs because they are too heavy for you.. go to the gym!" and then the happy person in me says to the ballerina.. "SHUT THE HELL UP!" but the ballerina always seems to win I guess... because today shopping I felt FAT!!
I hate shorts, I hate them so much! no matter what they just will never fit right on me!!! they are always loose in the back of the belt but tight on the sides (why do they think that if you're bigger you are larger from belly to back and not hip to hip... hi I have abs... but I also have hips.. I am female.. thanks!) they also are just so tight on my thighs, no matter what!! I am generally between a size 6 and a size 9 (big jump I know) depending on the store and how their clothes run... but today.. today I bought 11s... and I wanted to die. I got out of the mall upset and my mom didn't understand how bad I just wanted to go home, skip dinner, and go to the gym for 3 hours straight... but alas, I was hungry =/. So I took the dog for about a mile walk came home and ate dinner and thought about going to the gym, but it just doesn't seem worth it to get in my car and drive to Bridgewater at 7:30 when the gym closes at 9:00. So here I am, sitting.
I feel like I'm going to come home from North Carolina with a gazillion new photos from me, Elly, and Nicole.. and I don't want to look back at them and feel gross about how I looked.

gah. 10 days... 10 days- 2 days of cheer camp- 2 days in CT and 2 days working at dean = at least 6 days of the gym.. COME ON BRITT YOU CAN DO IT! I just need something to feel better about myself I guess.

I think I need to watch Penelope,(I recommend you watch it, asap!) Its one of my favorite movies, and it teaches a really good lesson on loving yourself.

Stop lying to yourself, idiot! You're Beautiful

Thank you Nike Ads!

Today I stumbled upon some Nike ads that are reassuring. Well.. I stumbled upon one Nike add... with a very large bum, and I wondered if there were more like it!
Lets be super serious with the world for a moment. I am no twig, I get myself discouraged because I don't look like a ballerina and most days I don't even think I look like a dancer. Sometimes I have to remember that I am an athlete and that I am strong and there's a lot of muscle in there and that's okay... because 145 pounds of mostly muscle is a lot more pleasing to look at than 145 pounds of no muscle.

[[I wrote what each pic says under them, in case it was too small to read]]

[My hips return to puberty when I am in dance class. Music effects them like hormones, making them crazy and spontaneous and optimistic and prone to drama and I don't understand them and sometimes they don't understand themselves. When the music stops they're still charged. Don't touch me, sparks will fly.]


[I have Thunder Thighs, and that's a compliment because they are strong, and toned, and muscular. And though they are unwelcome in the petite section, they are cheered on in a marathon. Fifty years from now I'll bounce a grandchild on my thunder thighs, then I'll go out for a run.]


[My Shoulders aren't dainty, or proportional to my hips. Some say they are like a mans. I say leave men out of it. They are mine, I made them, in a swimming pool. Then I went to yoga and made my arms]


[My Knees are Tomboys. They get bruised and cut every time I play soccer ((OK so maybe that sport doesn't apply!)) I'm proud of them and wear my dresses short. My mother worries I will never marry with Knees like that. But I know there's someone out there who will say to me "I love you and I love your knees. I want the four of us to grow old together"]



[My Butt is big and round like the letter C, and ten thousand lounges have made it rounder, but not smaller, and that's just fine. Its a space heater for my side of the bed. Its my ambassador for those who walk behind me. Its a border collie that herds skinny women away from the best deals at clothing sales. My butt is big and that's just fine and those who might scorn it are invited to kiss it.]



Thank you Nike, for making adds for girls who are insecure because they are in shape... Especially... for the bum one!

a rush of feelings for my best friends causes me to ramble at 3am.

tonight was bad.
tonight was good, but it was bad.
I don't even know but its so hard to explain!!!

I think its just the aggrivation of missing things.
I miss my job... I miss having a job mostly... but working with billy, mike, and luke made me love what I do.. I dont think I would have applied to the 20 or 30 Mass colleges that I have this summer to work at if I never experienced working with them.
I miss living with my best friend. Seeing Steph today was amazing.. but its the first time we've even seen each other in a month. She's been my best friend since I was 11 and I havent seen her in a month.. and neither of us even know why.

I MISS MY ROOMMATE!!! and I know swilz will prolly get to reading this eventually... but I really really do miss you Sam. It's so weird how I never appreciated some of the simple things that we took for granted... like late at night when something was bothering me before we went to sleep I could just roll over and talk to you about it. Or the fact that you would get angry when the redsox beat the yanks, or when you would get snooty when the yanks won... but seriously I just read her blog from today and Im still crying because everything she misses about home is the most of the things I miss about her.. like when she would be so hungover it would take her an entire day to eat one piece of toast... and she really would take the day to eat it, no matter how soggy it got!
I miss Chelsey, and being ridiculous with her. If she was on the library deck and she saw you across gomez way coming out of the science building you knew you were gonna get a "OH HAYYY GIRLLLL!!" loud enough for everyone to hear... or her pulling down her pants to show her leotard and be living the "thug life" like the football team... or when she would speak spanish to dr reno and tell jill she was going to be a stripper. I hate that she's moving to vegas.

I'm so proud of my friends, especially sam and chels. They got out, they are doing something great and I am SO SO SO SO proud of them... but they are also my two best friends... from the first weds of honors english class 4 years ago... to playing warthog, hearing about sams hatred for tony and his stupid guitar, chola girls, stephanies squirrel boots... sam fitting in the dryer, or her reciting every line of ever snl scene done by either will ferell or justin timberlake. I miss my puppy vegas, and chelsey's really bad addiction to coffee.

Its funny the lesson I've learned lately. See a boyfriend from my past talked to me tonight and while some of it was fighting and making amends of things that may have happened, it was him who reminded me of something pretty damn important. People will always be in your life... if you love them, and if you acknowledge that to them. Maybe I dont tell sam, chels, and steph this often.. but I really really do love them and appreciate everything they have done. Even just the simple fact that they have stood by me as my sisters. Tonight, I really wish I had them and it was hard. I guess a part of growing up.. sometimes you have to get through it on your own, or wait till the opportunity to console with them later. Its the simple fact that growing up sometimes means growing apart.. not always in ties, or in the heart.. just sometimes in distance. I hope the distance never changes the bonds and ties we hold to each other now.

Epic Summer Weekends

Normally I do not do the type of blog posts with "today I did this and yesterday I did that" Nothing against those, many of my friends do those and I enjoy reading them a lot... but my life is hella boring, so having a blog like that would be pointless!!
But this week was very different! This weekend was full of adventures which was really exciting!

It started with a phone call I got Wednesday night. It was my friend Chad, and he had an extra ticket to Thursdays Redsox game... YOU BETTER BELIEVE I TOOK THAT TICKET!
It was awesome!
Don't mind my absolutely horrible face in the shot... it was my first legal beverage at Fenway, and it was STRONG!!!



Our seats weren't too bad! This is the panoramic I took from it. Cameras always make it look like we are so much further away... but we actually had great seats and the weather was PERFECT for baseball!!
We ended up losing 7-2 this game which is pretty lame when you spend the money to go... but we got free parking, had a few drinks, Will Hall played a great game which is exciting to see from a new player, and I got to reconnect with one of my good college friends before he moves to Florida with his internship with the Panthers! (yay Chad!)

Friday morning it was time to be up bright and early to do what I do best... work at Dean College! hahaha. I really only spent like two hours there. I gave a tour, saw Jenna, and caught up with Mike C for a bit before heading to Middleboro.
Sarah's 21st birthday party was held on Friday and it was Alice in Wonderland themed!!!

[Birthday Girl and her crazy delicious cake!]

We were sad that some of the lovely guests couldn't make it, but it was a great time regardless! Seeing as there was a good chunk of people who were planning on coming as the Mad Hatter, which was my original costume... I decided to go as something a little different. I went as a garden butterfly.. (because lets be serious there are butterflies everywhere in that movie!) it was cool.. my wings were HUGE so I didn't wear them for the entire day, but I had some pretty sweet intense makeup going on... and glitter that took about 2 days to completely come off my body!!
We spent the night time on the slip and slide and by the fire with a few drinks. We actually slept outside in a tent that night... and lucky for us NONE of us thought of bringing an air mattress or anything like that. I know we are all geniuses. We all woke up bright and early Saturday morning, about 8 am (mostly because the heat in the tent by 8am was nowhere near a comfortable temperature to actually sleep!) I packed up my car, and headed the back roads home so that I could stop into Marylou's Coffee for a Girl Scout Cookie. Oh its my absolute most favorite thing ever!! (men, pay attention to the above sign... this is the key to my heart)
After getting home I showered up and took a nap and got ready for my next birthday party!
Saturday was PJ's 22ndGosh, PJ Branco... this kid is something else. He's a constant reminder that distance, and college, and life in general can loosen a bond, but never break it. He's been one of my good friends since my Jr year of high school and every summer we get back together with our group of friends and everything goes back to the old ways. Its comfortable, how its suppose to be, makes me feel like I really am at home.

Anyway, enough of the saapppp, the party was great!!!

[pj and roose flipping into the pool. Photo credit, mumma branco]

We spent the ENTIRE day doing nothing but eating, laughing, and swimming in the pool. We played Categories in the pool for about an hour... to which we ended up all wiped out, waterlogged, and learned that I am probably the worst person to be it because I can never catch anyone!! (even Frank, and he's a horrible swimmer!)

[relaxing in the hot tub after a long match of categories!]

We must have been in the pool and jacuzzi until at least 9pm till we finally brought the party inside, played some kings, flip cup, and pong and laughing hysterically before finally all falling asleep.
We woke up the next morning to dunkins! hoorrayyy I love the Brancos!! we sat around, had some donuts, coffee, and oj while we chatted about some really random things, like roller coasters! haha. After that I was off once again to my sisters house. I haven't seen my nieces in over a week (withdrawals right? haha) so I decided I'd come over and take them out to their pool so my sister could spend some time getting organized inside while Lucas napped.
There was only one problem.. HER POOL SPRANG A LEEK! yes.. this is horrible!! we didn't know what to do!! we managed to fill the hole with plastic rap until we could find her patch kit. We thought we would be fine and dandy, but after we blocked it we checked the water and due to the water coming out as she was filling and shocking the pool the chlorine level was too high, so we couldn't swim. I didn't know what to do, the girls had been waiting for an hour to go swimming with me there's no way I could just say oh well lets just go in the house. Good thing I had a lifeline!! I called up Steven and he let me take the girls to his pool for a couple hours.

[Kiara catching some air off of Steven's pool deck!]

At about 3:30 it was time to dry them off, and grab an early dinner. We ate up at my house, just some cheeseburgers and mac and cheese and then I surprised them and took them out for ice cream before bringing them back home.
It was then off to my next adventure! haha this is never ending I know!
I picked up Jac and headed to Newton to see Alexa perform! She recently got casted with singer Brandon Capp and was performing with him this weekend at the Newton Italiano festival!


The performance was great! Brandon only performed one song, but it seemed like a pretty good one! After that we got to hang out with Alexa, Brandon, and some of the other dancers at the fair. We walked around, played a few games, and all went on the bumper cars together!! Finally it was time to say goodbye to the fair and find us some food! Funny thing, Alexa had no gas and so her car wouldn't start! Thus a bigger adventure! It took us about 20 minutes to finally find a gas station that was open, buy a tank, and get it back to her car. After all of our gas issues were over we drove to Watertown, had some late night UNOs and caught up with each other after all being separated for about a month.


I'm pretty sure that was one of the most eventful weekends I will ever have in my life! Its Tuesday, and I am STILL tired from it!!
Thanks to everyone who is still even reading this. Such a ridiculously long post!!! haha
Hope everyone else had a great weekend!!

Officially Friday! and doing Alivia's qeustions!

1. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book?
   Geen Eggs and Ham!!
   

2. If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be?
   Don't Laugh.. Hannah Montana's home!! She has such a great closet =)
   

3. What's the longest you've gone without sleep?
   I think 48 hours. Oh freshman year finals week!

4. What's your favorite Barry Manilow song?
   Gosh I never remember what titles of songs are. how about Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You
   

5. Who's your favorite Muppet?
   ANNIIIIMMAALLLLL GGARRRRRR *bangs drums*
   

6. What's the habit you're proudest of breaking?
   I wish I could say that it was making horrible faces into cameras... I am so bad with that. I can never take nice photos these days!

7. What's your favorite Web site?
   I don't want to say it, but Facebook.

8. What's your favorite school supply?
   Those cool pencils that have the plastic nubs around the lead and when the lead is out you pull that nub out and stick it in the back and theres new pointy lead!!!!! bahahahaha do people understand what I mean??

9. Who's your favorite TV attorney?
   I don't watch nearly enough tv to know this.

10. What was your most recent trip of more than 50 miles?
    To New York City for Disney Cruise line auditions
    

11. Where were you on September 11, 2001?
    8^th grade music class. the principle didnt want us to watch but my music teacher believed it was important, so she wheeled in the tv and found the news right as the 2nd plane hit. Funny how you can remember so many details when something like that happens.

12. What's your favorite tree?
    Ones that have red delicious apples on them =)

13. What's the most interesting biography you've read?
    Jeff Buckley. He's like my Jesus.

14. What do you order when you eat Chinese food?
    Generals chicken and lo mein!

15. What's the best costume you've ever worn?
    I've had some really good ones! I think its a toss up between my Sr year of high schools peter pan costume and Jr year of colleges fairy costume.

16. What's your least favorite word?
    Most def the N word

17. If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be?
    California. I think Cali would be a really cute name!
    

18. Who's your favorite Care Bear?
    Big fan of Bedtime Bear. I love to sleep as much as he does.

19. Describe something that's happened to you for which you have no explanation.
    Why what happened the night of my grad party did.

20. If you could travel anywhere in Africa, where would it be?
    Egypt. I was suppose to go there this June until the earthquake hit Haiti which kinda put the honors trip on the back shelf.

21. What did you have for lunch yesterday?
    HOT POCKETS!!

22. Where do you go for advice?
    My older sister and some of my closer friends.

23. Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus?
    Thesaurus, I hate being repetitive with words when writing papers.

24. Have you ever been snorkeling? Scuba diving?
    Nope. I want to but I get really nervous when I feel the pressure of water pushing on my chest.

25. What's the sickest you've ever been?
    I wanna say my entire life from the ages of 3 to 11. I was such a sickly kid. Had the chicken pox twice, the flu a couple of times, and some weird viruses that kept me home for almost a week that they obviously had no meds to give me.

26. What's your favorite form of exercise?
    Playing volleyball, anytime, anywhere, with anyone.

27. What's your favorite Cyndi Lauper song? HAHAHAHA what a good question! Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!

28. What did you do for your 13th birthday?
    Same thing I do every birthday since forever!! Huge sleepover party with karaoke, a scary movie, and a funny movie to fall asleep to =)

29. Are you afraid of heights?
    No, but I dont like to fall straight down from them, like on the Tower of Terror.. I would NEVER go on that ride!!

30. Have you ever taken dance lessons? No... Never...

.....

31. What's your favorite newspaper?
    The Boston Globe! I guess? I don't really read the paper.

32. What's your favorite Broadway musical?
    Guys and Dolls or 42nd Street.

33. What's the most memorable class you've ever taken?
    Ballet with Jill. It was the first time that I actually felt like I was learning ballet and wanted to learn ballet.
    

Film survey was pretty bomb too.

34. What's your favorite commercial?
    THE MAN YOUR MAN COULD SMELL LIKE!!! bahaha!! I love every single old spice commercial! you should really check out their youtube channel!
    
    

35. If you could go to Disney World with any celebrity alive today, who would it be?
    Jacoby Ellsbury! thats a celebrity right? yea.. he's my boyfriend!
    

36. Do you prefer baths or showers?
    Showers, especially when its cold out and I get to take niiice long hot ones!

37. Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?
    People stick their gum on their bedpost and rechew it? GROSS

38. What's your favorite breakfast food?
    My Mimi's Gullets =) ooooo and my stepdads homefries!

39. Who's your favorite game show host?
    Once again, I don't watch enough TV

40. If you could have a super power, what would it be?
    Flight. Gas is way too expensive these days.

41. Do you like guacamole?
    YEESSSS so yum!

42. Have you ever been in a food fight?
    My best friend threw a tomato slice at me once but thats about it.

43. Name five songs to which you know all the lyrics. (Better yet, sing them.) a few biggy songs, rockstar by smashmouth, summer love by JT, You're So Last Summer by Taking Back Sunday, thats only four but whatever.

44. What's your favorite infomercial?
    anything with yelling and excitement!

45. What's the longest you've ever waited in line?
    Splash mountain in disney

46. What's on the cover of your address book or day planner?
    Don't have either

47. Have you ever taken a picture in one of those little booths?
    Yes, I love those!

Dear Residence Life...

HIRE ME!!!

no but really.... I've thought of this master plan. Tons of dancers who are performers have two jobs, some work in restaurants, some at other dance schools, and some in Pilates and zumba studios all over the country. Me? I want my (I need to pay my bills till I'm famous) job to be the second love of my life, working with college students.
The trouble is I'm having trouble finding a job working as a Resident Director at a school in Boston.. and even harder time actually getting them to call me back. Although I was never a RA, what I had done in my college career almost makes me a better candidate than a lot of people who were.
The other problem is I am limited. I am working with a choreographer that I want to work with... and he is based out of Cambridge. I know he is gonna help me start getting great jobs and get where I want to be going... but this means Boston area... places a half hour at most from Cambridge. This makes opportunities like western mass, Rhode Island, and CT jobs a little more difficult even though some of them are schools I think I would enjoy working at.

It gets a little nerve racking thinking about how I am going to pull this off... Most people I seem to talk to about it just think I'm doing it as a free in to living for free in Boston. Well obviously this is why I am only applying in the Boston and surrounding areas, I need to be in that area... but lets be serious, res life at a college doesn't seem to be something that someone would go into for a free ride.

+

come on Harvard, you know you want down with this!

PS- Dear Mangelo--I know you read this... so.. chufok baby eh?
dont EVER talk about my blog on power 88... Im going to hunt you down if you do, even though I know it will get you more than 13 listeners!! ;)